A New Beginning
by Lily Poe
Summary: First fanfic. "Love conquers all, and apparently, can save the world." - Marcus/OC - Story may change as written. Rated M for language/alcohol/violence/light smut.
1. The Awakening

Chapter One: The Awakening

She lifted her eyes slowly and examined the clean, white room. Everything seemed to glow. The fog had not lifted as she had expected to. The flash grenade landed too close, "Dammit, Dom" was all that she could hear before the high pitched pulse made it's way to her ear drums. These words could have been her own, but the voice seemed too far away. She couldn't be sure whose mouthed formed these words, whose throat they emanated from. Then, there was nothing. She saw and heard nothing. And now, here she was in the old Jacinto hospital amazed that everything was so bright and so calm. Still strapped to the bed, and the machines whirring fluids through the long tubes that entered her veins. She wanted to scream. _How long have I been here? Is here really what it appears to be? And where the HELL is my squad? Did they make it out? Am I alone? Shit, where's my lancer? _The tubes jammed down her throat made speaking impossible, and her hands were unable to remove them due to the restraints. _Why am I restrained? What the Fuck happened? _Too much, too much, sinking again. She started to fall asleep, waves and waves of unconsciousness began to fill her mind. _No_, she thought. _No, I wont sleep. Not again. You can't make me. No more drugs. No. No. no. n…_

The fog seemed to be finally lifting. The pain washed over her. But this time, her screams were not muffled. They bellowed from her chest. She quickly shut her mouth. She feared if the nurses heard her shrieks they would drug her again. She instinctively reached for the needle taped to her arm, and without noticing her hands were no longer strapped down, she ripped it from her flesh. _They can't drug me again. If I had my lancer, they wouldn't fucking touch me. Never again. _Her eyes opened and the same beautiful white filled her vision. This wasn't the old Jacinto medical center. This was something else. This was new, and clean, and bright. "Where am I ?"she asked, not knowing who would answer. A calm, rough voice beckoned from the shadowy corner just out of her vision. It hinted at hopeful, but still deep and dark, "Lil, it's okay." He came closer. He blocked out the light. The man was tall, very tall. His hair was covered with a black bandanna. This was a pretty standard sight, nothing really particular about him except for his bright eyes. They reminded her of that song by the Who. And the scar running down the right side of his face told her that she knew him. But she didn't really remember him, or his voice. Just his dark scar and those clear and brilliant eyes. "You… I know you." she managed as a faint whisper "Who are you?"

Marcus sighed, "Yea, Lil, you know me…" Before he could finish his words, her drug induced stumper lifted, and just as quickly her eyes cleared. And there he stood. Sergeant Marcus Fenix, Delta Squad leader, and her own personal fucking savior. "Holy shit Sarge, I'm sorry" she saluted. She knew he must have been sitting there in the room with her for some time now. "Hey Sarge, how long have I been in here?" Fenix looked shocked. His features softened and he replied, "Lil, you've been in and out of consciousness for about 3 weeks. It was really touch and go there for awhile. I seriously thought about kicking Dom's ass a few times. Lil, please look at me, and call me Marcus."

Lily, didn't really understand. She remembered Sergeant Fenix, Dominic, Cole, and Baird. She remembered Private Carmine going down in the fight just before her, and she remembered being blinded and deafened by that damn flash grenade. But for the life of her, she couldn't figure out why she should call him by his first name. _Sure, Dom and the guys called him Marcus_, she thought, but she really couldn't remember having ever called him that. Truth be told she couldn't remember anything that happened before that battle. Or, anything that happened before the Emergence hole. _Why were they even in Illima? The city was completely demolished? Why had they fucking gone back there? _She had more questions than answers, and was lost in thought when the nurses came in.

Sergeant Fenix was talking to the nurses while Lily struggled to remember her life. She was fairly certain she wasn't new to the COG Army, and yet she had no recollection of her training, or any other confrontations with the Locust. She was so strained and deep in thought when it finally hit her. She knew who Fenix was, she knew of Jacinto, The COG, and the Locust… so her memory wasn't gone, it's simply blocking everything leading to this moment. Everything was familiar, just not the how or why. _Fuck_, she thought, _now I'm more lost than before._

Before the nurses left the room Marcus asked Lily is there were any questions she had for them. _Well, yeah _she thought, _I've got more questions than can probably be answered in this lifetime._ But she merely shrugged and asked them for pain medication. Her ribs were still killing her, and she wasn't sure that her legs even worked. It seemed so soon to be leaving the hospital. It just wasn't safe outside anymore and this gnawing urge to shoot someone wasn't going away. The problem still remained that she hadn't actually left this bed since waking, and she wasn't sure she was even able.


	2. Lost Time

Chapter 2 - Lost Time

Lily refused the wheelchair upon leaving the hospital that morning, stating that, "No Gear would ever stoop so low, just because of a few broken ribs". It had become clear to Marcus that she wasn't completely aware of how close her name had come to joining so many others on the Memorial Wall. She really had no idea the extent of her injuries, making it evident she hadn't looked in a mirror or seen herself undressed. He knew that if he had been a second later she would've been bits. The flash - bang grenade not only knocked her on her ass and nearly blinded her, it left her wide open for that damn grub's chainsaw. The last words anyone heard from her were, "Dammit, Dom!" and then the roar of the locust's lancer sprung to life. Marcus had been running right behind her and had ducked into cover just in time. His eyes narrowed, he yelled, "Get down", but she hadn't heard. He still isn't sure why he shot into the smoke, he could've killed her himself. But there was nothing else he could do, and he had to do something. Too many of his men had died because he wasn't fast enough, because he hadn't been by their side. Not this time. The pristine bullets exited the already cocked Boltok pistol at an immense speed. Marcus saw the slow motion re-enactment every night he sat by her bedside in the hospital. One, Two, Three shots rang out. Marcus squeezed the trigger faster than ever before. He was a man possessed. By the time he had reached her, she was lying lifeless on the jagged concrete. Blood flowed from her gaping torso. All of Delta stood in attendance, mouths gaping, a small light glistened in Marcus' eye.

The shots from the pistol, all three entered the Locust's skull before the chainsaw had finished it's gruesome job. There in the center of her chest, COG armor split in two, was a 4-inch gaping wound; too deep to judge on first sight. At that point Marcus knew he had no intention of continuing this firefight. He had only left a battle once, and it never sat well with him. He had his reasons, valid ones to be sure, but in the long run, abandoning his squad was a far worse punishment than The Slab could have ever been. Countless men died that day, and Marcus could have saved them. But this time would be different. This time the grubs could have their win, the COG could take his rank, his freedom, his everything, and it wouldn't have mattered. All that mattered now, was Lil. Baird was already on the tac/com calling Anya at control, requesting an immediate evac. It's hard to get a King Raven to land anywhere near a hot zone. "Anya, dammit, Lil's gone down, we need a fucking chopper now!"

"Marcus!" Lily yelled, confused at to where the hell they were going. Marcus blinked, dazed, and looked over at her. She sat on the passenger side of the old beat up truck. "Where are we going?" he just continued driving, glancing back at her every few minutes. She huffed, frustrated at the lack of reply, and wondered if he was always like this.

_What the hell am I doing? She doesn't have any idea who I am. Who we were. What she means to me. _"We're almost home." Marcus finally replied. _Home? Is that what it really was? _He thought, _Would it really ever be home again? _Home was wherever Marcus was, when he was with her. He pulled over to the side of the road, and parked in front of graying, slightly dilapidated building. She looked at the ruined complex, struggling to remember if this was her home. She knew the building, knew the way the stairs had a slight curve to the corners. She remembered the dingy brown, worn carpet that filled the entire interior. She knew the rails would be lacking their ability to hold true weight, and chipped of their paint. Yeah, she remembered the place alright, she remembered it well. But she just didn't have the feeling that it was home. This was probably one of the nicest apartment buildings left in the city. The war had taken a lot, from everybody. And now, those goddamned Locusts had taken her memory too. She couldn't shake it, the urge to kill made her trigger finger itch. She had been conditioned during her time enlisted in the COG Army. She knew it, everyone knew it. Gears had a natural tendency to violence, whether it was Post - Traumatic Stress, or just an environmental learning; it didn't matter. There wasn't a lot a Gear could do about the urge while off - duty. You just closed your eyes, took a few deep breaths and tried to pretend just for awhile that you were like everybody else, just a civilian trying to make their way. Trying to survive. But truth be told, Gears aren't like everyone else. Their rations had some sort of special chemical compounds in them, and they were fed tons. I guess it's just a little more subtle than shooting them up with steroids twice a day. But that's pretty much what it was, right? Gears healed faster than everyone else, and muscle mass was not hard to come by. The men were huge, their hulking figures towering over everyone else. Not a civilian, or stranded alike, would take on a Gear alone, unless they had a death wish, and it seemed some of them did.

She struggled to open the truck's cab door, the muscles in her abdomen tighten painfully as she pushed. She turned and carefully, slowly climbed down to the pavement; her feet seemingly solid on the ground. Marcus had grabbed their bags from the back of truck and met her around the side. He quickly wrapped is huge arm gently around her waist to settle her steps. With a little nudge from his wide boot, he kicked the door shut.

They headed toward the large door at the front of the building, and there they stood. Delta Squad, only their sniper Ben Carmine was missing. The three men at the door, looked at her in amazement. Eyes wide and glistening. No one in the history of the COG army had ever survived the chainsaw end of the lancer, no one. She had been the lucky one, she had Marcus in her corner, and he would always be irreplaceable; a leader like no other. He never left a man behind if he could help it. Baird held the door open with his usual smirk crossing his face, while she and Marcus walked through. Cole grabbing the bags from Marcus, shouted, "It's good to have you back, baby!" Dom, with a shy smile, just sauntered behind the rest, making sure the door was latched when everyone had gone inside.


	3. Home?

**A/N - I want to introduce and thank my wonderful Betas. **_**Aurora &**__**Carver**_**. Thanks for the pushing to keep me going. The story wants so badly to be written, but I'm having a hard time deciding where it is going to go. XX**

**Also - I know my writing style isn't for everyone. I'm sorry if this has deterred any of you from reading the story. Hopefully the increases in plot and character development over the next few chapters will help make up for that. XX**

ANB - Chapter 3 - Home?

"Put me the fuck down, Sarge!" she screamed defiantly as the loud thump echoed through the foyer. Her fist landing a solid blow to his chin. Marcus set her back down on the landing, and took a step back toward Dom, a low rumble in the back of his throat; his only reply. Baird couldn't contain himself, and started laughing, between the tears he managed to choke out something like, "Yeah, Sarge…" and continued doubled over, practically rolling on the floor. Cole, the mediator, casually walked over, and smacked him across the back of the head. Baird stood up straight, and slowly gained his composure. Lily, still standing on her own 2 feet, looked toward Marcus and Dom. Between them a silent meeting of the minds. Their eyes locked on one another, a shrug and a nod was all that ever needed to be said. She wished that she could have someone like that now, someone who would understand. Standing there on the landing, just inside the door, she was alone. Surrounded by all the people who loved her, she just didn't know it.

It was very clear to the rest of Delta that Lily, had completely lost it. Not just her memory, but her personality as well. The Lily they knew seemed to have all but faded away. She had always been strong willed, and independent. She possessed a knack for getting herself out of trouble, but she was never harsh; never violent toward those who really mattered.

Lily grew up with a lot of people, but she never had family. Not really. The breeding farms were harsh, cruel, and brutal. No one would ever blame her for wanting to forget her childhood. She always just shrugged off the questions and comments about the farms. It seemed to those who knew her, that she had come to terms with her past, and had since moved on to become the best soldier she could be.

Delta was her family now, they all knew this. Somewhere deep down in her heart, they hoped she knew it too. It was up to Delta to find their Lily again, to bring that young girl back; bring her home.

She turned, and started up the steps; slowly making her way to the second landing. She kept telling herself, _One at a time, One at a time. _Delta followed behind her, tracing her steps quietly. Marcus brought up the rear. If Marcus still had a heart, it was broken. Delta Squad and Lily were all he had left in this world. He would have died that day, 3 weeks ago, if he had the choice. This was worse than death.

While still deep in thought he followed his brothers up 3 flights of stairs. Lily always leading the way. She was determined. She didn't like to be manhandled, and that's exactly what he had done. Without warning, he had grabbed her up in his arms, and she wasn't about to be pitied and carried… she was a Gear, and she could hold her own. Anything else would get them all killed on the streets, and she wouldn't let that happen. In the face of the Locust Army she had never shown fear. Not even the slightest sign of weakness, and yet they wouldn't let her now.

Part of her knew there was something bigger going on, she could tell by the way Marcus had looked at Dom, and the sadness in their eyes before she had turned toward the first set of stairs. It didn't matter though, she had to show them that she was still the same tough Lily they had known, the girl who never quit, never laid down to die. She always fought through the pain, and she struggled now, but never winced and certainly never shed a tear.

The last set of stairs was the hardest. Her abdomen ached, and it was all that she could do to just keep going. Jabs of pain struck her, and the sharpness of the waves continued to increase. Doubling over on the worn carpet at the top of the stairs would have been such a relief. But Lily could not sacrifice her pride for such a small victory over her pain. _"Never quit, never stop", _she kept repeating to herself.

Finally the door came into view, she sighed with relief, rest would soon be hers. She silently prayed there would be hot water; a shower would be nice.

The ascent of the stairs had been the last straw. Marcus just couldn't take much more of this. He had to remind her of what had been between them. He felt like such an ass for letting her climb the 3 flights of stairs herself. He knew she was in pain, all of Delta knew. Her pain medication rattled in his pocket with every step. A constant reminder that he never should have set her down. Really, the blow to his chin probably hurt her hand, more than it phased him. Gear or not, Lily punched like a girl. She may have been terrifyingly accurate with her lancer, but the girl really had no hand to hand combat skills. He'd have to change that.

He knew she was upset and lost, female or not, he never backed down from a fight. But Lily was different. She wasn't trying to fight him, she had needed to make a point, he got that, really he did. "_But why the Hell did she have to call me Sarge!"_

"Hey Marcus," Dom broke the silence, "Where is she gonna sleep man?"

"Well, let's just get her in there, and get her settled, we'll figure out the rest of this shit as we go. Don't want to piss her off again." Marcus smiled, and lightly rubbed his chin.

Dom's smile was reassuring to Marcus, and a small chuckle followed. It's a good thing Lily wasn't paying attention. Dom might've been the next one suffering from a bruised ego.

XXXXXX

She waited anxiously at the front door. Cole was digging in his pockets for the keys. She surveyed the group. Really taking them in. They all looked much older than they really were. War had a way of doing that to people. They all had their scars, but Marcus's by far stood out among them. His scar didn't change his features, however. It didn't detract from the rugged beauty beneath. He was such a handsome man, and to be so devoted to the COG was almost a travesty. If only he could be devoted like that to a women, she'd be the luckiest girl in the world.

She thought she saw Dom smile at her. Just a quick, subtle smirk. He had caught a glimpse of her staring at Marcus. He seemed to beam behind his dark eyes. Like a little kid on Christmas who had seen the half eaten cookies left behind in the morning. A hopeful glimmer shown through his battle hardened features, she knew he was up to something. _I'm going to have to get to the bottom of this secretive shit,_ she mused, _no one is talking. It's driving me crazy. _

The apartment door swung open, the only light shone from the large window on the far wall. The apartment was a complete sty. One might say it lacked a feminine touch.

"Wow, you boys could really use a lesson in house keeping, huh?"

"That's what you're for, sweetheart." Baird replied in his usual snaky tone. He didn't really mean anything by it, Lily knew him well enough to know that it was just his way of saying, _Welcome back_, and maybe, _start washing the damn dishes_. She smiled, trying to ignore the gut wrenching pain, and took a few hesitant steps toward the old, stained and torn couch. Her head started to throb, the world began to spin. She barely made inside the door. Face first she fell, straight to the ground. She blacked out so suddenly her hands never made it to their instinctive position in front of her. What's one more bump to the head after everything she had been through.

"Shit" was the only sound from the hallway. Marcus made his way to the front door, and scooped her into his arms. He knew he shouldn't have let her walk on her own. Now, a tinge of guilt shown through is clear, blue eyes. He continued her failed trip into the apartment, walking right by the old couch and headed straight for the large bedroom at the end of the hall. It didn't matter how much she remembered, or if she even cared to. She deserved to sleep on her own bed, their bed. He could sleep on the floor, or take up a permanent residence on the couch. He didn't care. Besides, maybe it would help her remember.

Her eyes opened just as he laid her down. The bed didn't have a frame, but a mattress was hard enough to come by these days, and at least it wasn't an old, used cot from the barracks. That's what the rest of the squad slept on. They had their own rooms of course, smaller than theirs, but admittedly size just didn't matter after you had spent so much time in a shared room with 20 to 30 Gears at any given time. Basic was such a bitch, especially for a women.

A few of her memories seeped through the fog of her mind. She could remember the smell of the cots, and the comforting sound of the King Ravens flying overhead. For a moment relief washed over her. _Was this just the beginning? Will I actually get my memories back? _

She looked up, and saw pain. Marcus stood over her, examining her, analyzing her response. His eyes racked with dismay, and his jaw had tightened. No other physical sign of his feelings was evident. She suspected the only emotions Marcus could ever show, were the ones he just couldn't hide. She winced, trying to sit up, and was gently forced back down. His large hand still flat upon her upper chest. She tried to protest, and squirm.

"We're not having this argument again," Marcus grumbled, "you're lying down until we decide otherwise."

_Well, damn, _she thought, _there goes my shower. _He seemed pleased with her submission, even cracking the slightest hint of a smile before he continued, "Here's the deal Lil, you've obviously got no idea what the hell happened to you, and until you're back in good health, we're in charge. Got it?"

"Yeah, Sarge, I got it. Now, can I have those goddamned pills, or am I grounded from them too?" Her voice was still shaky, like the rest of her, but she just couldn't stand to be chastised and treated like a child, no matter how much younger she was.

He tossed the bottle to her, and sat down on the side of the bed. The rest of the guys hovered near the door, all except for Baird. He had started cooking, at least that was her best guess when she smelled the aroma of burning meat from the other room. Cole and Dom watched her intently. They were great soldiers. Cole used to be a star Thrashball player. Before E-Day, one could assume he had just about everything he could have wanted. Now, all he had were his memories of grandeur, and the COG. It never seemed to get him down though. Cole had this ability to brighten a room, just by walking into it. Everyone love the Cole Train, and he loved them back.

Dominic had had his fair share of heart ache. If anyone had a reason to hate the Locust, it was him. They had taken his brother, his children, and presumably his wife. He still held out hope for her return, but most of us knew different. We never shared these thoughts with Dom, we all loved him too much to crush his hopes to dust.

"So, what _do_ you remember? Marcus questioned, hoping there was still some shot at this day not going to hell. She sat quietly for a moment, fumbling with the pill bottle, trying to get it open.

"Can I sit up now? I'd like to take these fucking things, my ribs are killing me."

Marcus just nodded, impatiently waiting for her answer. The question kept nagging at him. He felt like he was probably the only thing she couldn't remember, and it was killing him. He couldn't let her see his faltering façade, but he figured she already knew something was up. She always had a natural talent for sniffing out the bullshit, and then calling you out. Here's hoping that was gone along with her memories.

Lily began, "Well, I remember a lot of things. I remember all of you, I remember this apartment. Hell, just a second ago, I remembered Basic."

"Do you remember how you ended up in the hospital?"

"Um, kind of. I know we were in Illima. I don't really know why we went to that shit hole, but I know we were there. Then we saw the first emergence hole. Just a couple of grubs, probably their own version of a recon team. We took 'em down, but…" She stopped, she cringed. "Carmine" she whispered. "Carmine, went down."

Marcus nodded, acknowledging her guilt. Lily and him had been on the opposite side of the E-hole as the rest of the squad. Carmine, became just another addition to the numbers of soldiers that Marcus felt responsible for their deaths. He couldn't help it. He was their leader, they trusted him with their lives, and he always let someone down. If he had been a little quicker on the draw, or had been closer to the squad, Carmine might still be alive. "Poor rook…" he managed.

Lily continued, this is where it started to get a bit hazy, "Then there was another hole", she lowered her eyes. "I thought, well, I thought Dom was going to close it up with a frag, but…" she paused just long enough to swallow a couple of the mind-numbers down. "But, it was a flash grenade, right? And…and it bounced back. I remember the flash, and someone yelling at Dom. Then, well, that's it. Until I woke up in that room."

She slowly looked toward the door way, she knew Dom was still standing there, and she hadn't meant to blame him. That's just how she remembered it. "Sorry." she muttered under her breath as her eyes met his. He laughed, "Lily, I really don't think you're the one who needs to apologize. Not for that anyway." He rubbed the back of his neck, and walked to her side. He whispered in her ear, "It's not me that needs the apology." With that, he turned and left the room.

Confusion sunk in, maybe it was the drugs, but she hadn't a clue what Dom had meant. She'd have to clarify with him later. Right now, she was a little busy with the Sarge, and it appeared pretty important to him to get the facts straight.

"That's it?" he groaned. "Alright. Yeah, there was a second hole, and the flash grenade did hit right behind you. But we didn't count on being flanked. That bastard drone came right up on ya when you were down. He must've made your position before the smoke. We're not real sure, but it looked like you never made it off the ground. Anyway, he took his lancer straight to your armor. Right in the gut." He paused, he had to phrase this just right, "_We_ took him down, but not before he cut ya up pretty good."

Lily was silent. Her mouth gaping slightly. She looked from Marcus to Cole, who was still standing near the door way. Cole nodded, and smiled. Looking back at Marcus, she did everything she could to hold back her tears. Much to her dismay, she couldn't keep her composure as well as she had liked. A couple of stray tears leaked, and rolled down her cheeks. Maybe it was the shock from knowing she should be dead, or that these men had seen her fail, and still cared. She wasn't positive about anything she was feeling right now, but she was damned sure she had to find a mirror.


	4. Revelations

**XX Alright, so I'm starting to get a better feel for what I want out of this story. I know a lot of you are big fans of the WHOLE squad, but this story has more of a MARCUS focus. I do have plans for a bit of fun for Baird in a different story.**

**XX Once again much love to Carver and Aurora, my awesome Betas!**

ANB - Chp 4 - Revelations

It took some convincing, but Marcus finally yielded to her request.

"Please, really, I'll be fine, I just want to take a shower. I have got to get out of this bed, besides I have to pee!" There wasn't much a guy could do when a girl said something like that. It was really a petty trick, and she knew it, but there is no way he would deny her a piss break, and she was going to take full advantage of that.

Marcus figured she'd be fine. She had just taken her pills, so the pain wouldn't be so bad for her, and he was confident she could handle herself. He decided to leave her in the care of Cole and Dom for awhile, and take a trip to the bar down the street. _It had been a long morning, and hell, _he figured,_ it was 5 o'clock somewhere._ There was no shortage of booze in this war-torn metropolis. People were freezing in the streets, but the booze kept on flowing. Someone, somewhere was making a killing off this madness, but Marcus didn't mind. He left the apartment just as soon as Lily had made it to the bathroom, he had to get out for just a little while, and forget that she had forgotten.

XXXXXX

The pain – killers were pumping through her veins, in full effect. The sharpness was fading, and a little of her worry was as well. Marcus had helped her off the bed, and walked her to the bathroom door. He had told her to be careful, that he would be here if she needed him, all she had to do was holler. She had no intention of asking for any help, but she nodded and said thanks like any good girl would. Her mind was racing, she turned on the light, careful not to look toward the mirror. _Is this really what I want to do? This could be a bad idea. Fuck it, _she decided, _let's get this over with._ With that, she turned to look into the reflecting glass. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. It had been 3 weeks since the incident, and Gears heal fast. There, in the mirror she saw a thin, almost pretty scar reflected from her forehead. Starting just above her left eye, and trailing and fading just below her temple. _That's not so bad,_she thought tracing the line over and over again. It was still red and upraised, but in time the line would fade and probably blend right in.

She took a deep breath and began to undress. This was the hard part. She slowly removed the white tank top she had been wearing since she had left the hospital. Never taking her eyes off of her reflection. And there in the mirror she stood. Scarred, broken, damaged. There it was, she had hoped they were wrong, that maybe she just hadn't heard them right. In the mirror she saw the large scar, that had once been her death blow. Her brain just couldn't register the sight she saw before her. Four, maybe five inches long from mid sternum down. The dark red line landed dead center, finally reaching it's end half -way to her navel. She felt faint. Fighting the urge to pass out or throw up. Her head swirled. The pain wasn't so bad without a wound to be seen. But this, this was too much. The image left her shaken. She closed her eyes, tried to breathe, and couldn't understand how the locust's blade could get so far, and not have sliced her in two.

Eventually having given up on the mirror, and her reflection there-in she moved to the shower and turned the knob. The water ran mildly warm, and here, that was about as hot as the water would get. She took two solid steps and climbed into the small stall. She washed with whatever she could find. The smell of hospital had assaulted her nasal passages since she had awoken that morning, and she was glad to smell human, and not like a sterile piece of metal. She let the water run over her face, finding her scar, and assaulting it with it's temperature. A small slice of stinging flesh, reminded her she was still alive, and as such, it was welcome. The water's temperature began to cool, and she ignored the urge to leave this calm place, her new solace. She couldn't leave or someone would see her tears. As long as the water remained pouring over her, even she could pretend they weren't real.

The water had long since turned cold, and there she still stood. The day before her was long, and the anguish of even trying, weighed heavily on her mind. She turned the water off, and stood in the empty shower, alone and vulnerable. _Today was going to be a long fucking day,_ she thought, as she climbed out of the too small stall. Wrapping the towel around her, she returned to the mirror and much to her dismay the red scar on her face remained. Deep inside she had hoped it was all a dream. She just didn't want to have to deal. She tilted her head, and her short black hair fell to one side, covering the scar on her forehead, and she was glad, the reminder really wasn't necessary. Lily stood there staring, afraid to leave her new found calm. She sat on the cold and moist floor. Still wrapped in her towel, she brought her knees to her chin, and tears flowed from her eyes. She couldn't hold it back any longer. Her strength had failed her.

She remembered the night she turned 11, and the man had come to see her. Dr. Bronsky was a short, weasel of a man. He ran the breeding farm; a baby factory of sorts. Sera needed to be repopulated, and the war had to be won. Soldiers and mothers were born in these warehouses, she herself was born here. She was the product of a machine. Grown in a tube, one of the first of her kind. They were trying to make strong women who could withstand multiple childbirths, and even stronger men to fight the wars that raged outside. She had failed at the first. The doctor sent man after man, Gear after Gear, to her bed. Always the most decorated of soldiers. She never conceived. At the ripe old age of 18, they sent her to Basic. She was fated to kill or be killed. She was glad. Death was easy, life at the farm wasn't.

Her thoughts wandered but the tears never stopped. She was just a young girl, fighting a war for survival, and she fought with everything she had. Now, as she sat alone on the bare floor, she felt weak and disgusted with herself. She couldn't stop the belligerent yelps that came through her sobs. When the door to the bathroom opened she hardly noticed. She felt mildly ashamed, but couldn't muffle her own cries. He slunk down beside her, wrapping a huge warm arm around her shoulders. He held her for what seemed like forever. Cole had a big heart, and Lily would always have a place there. He loved her like a sister, and would never let her down.

Between muffled sobs she told him her fears, her troubles, and her past. He listened to every word, solid as a rock. When she had calmed herself she looked into his soft brown eyes, and he smiled.

"You alright baby girl? It's all gonna be okay. You'll see, The Cole Train is here to take care of you. No more bad men, and no more tears. Ya hear me?"

She couldn't help but smile back. Cole's good nature was infectious, and she knew he meant what he had said. She felt safe for the first time today, and that was a feeling worth getting up for.

"Where's Marcus?" she asked him timidly. She hadn't meant any disrespect, especially to her new found savior. "He's out..." was all that he could come up with. Cole saw the disappointment in her eyes, and wondered if maybe she was starting to come back around. He knew how much she meant to Marcus, how much she meant to all of them, really. But with Marcus it was different. If he opened himself up, and let you in, you damn well better be worth it. Marcus had lost a lot in his life, and Cole wasn't sure he'd survive another. She meant everything to him. He fought this war for her. Sure, he had Dom and the boys, but he had found what he was looking for in life, when he found her. She was the only one he ever really talked to, she had known him better than he knew himself. Now, she didn't know him at all. Cole had a hard time trying to decide what to tell her. But finally, noting that Marcus was out there alone wallowing in his own sorrow, he decided they were going out.

She picked herself up off the floor. Cole said they were going out, she didn't think it was a very good idea, but figured it couldn't hurt to walk a bit. Lily had made him promise to carry her down the stairs, and to keep his mouth shut about it. She dressed quickly. Her foot locker was sitting on the floor near the foot of the bed. Everything she owned fit in this steel box, and that's the way she like it. She threw on a black tank, a pair of baggy cargos and a belt. Grabbing her boots and her pill bottle, she headed for the living room. Cole had to lace up her boots, she just didn't have any abdominal strength left, and the pills made her feel just a little too numb. They headed out the door, and Cole carefully carried her down the steps, with Dom in tow. She wasn't sure where they were headed. Lily just wanted out of that damn building, even if it was just for a little while. A little food and some warm air would be nice and maybe they would find Marcus.


	5. Served cold

ANB – Chp 5 – Served Cold

Marcus sat in the far corner of the long and narrow room. The dingy bar, if you could call it that, smelled of sweat and vomit. The room was full of broken men and loose women. Everyone here had their own reasons for wanting to disappear. They all had other places to be, and people who looked up to them. None of them cared. They wanted to be lost, and so did he. He drank his beer slowly, it was warm, and tasted terrible, but after 3 or 4 no one ever cared. The food in the center of the table sat untouched, as Marcus just stared off at nothing in particular. He just wished he could fix it all. On the battle field he was a god among men, here he was just another lonely soul, begging for a reprieve from life, however brief it might be. He sat for what felt like hours. Marcus had dreams of peace, of quiet and safety. That's why he fought this war. Someday he hoped to settle down, to have a real home and a humble and quiet life. He wanted peace for Sera, he wanted peace for everyone. Peace came at a price, a long list of those lost filled his conscience. He himself had killed countless others, human and Locust alike. The Pendulum Wars weighed on him like a stack of bricks. Man killing Man, all for the sake of politics. They killed for fuel, Imulsion. They killed for the one thing that would inevitably destroy their world. When the Locust came from below on E-day mankind had banned together. They used their weapons to destroy the new threat, and in the process had ruined their home. Now humanity was on the brink of extinction.

The past 3 weeks had been a torrent of feelings. When he was sitting beside her in the hospital room, he couldn't think of anything but her. His soldiers were out fighting a war they could never win. He didn't care, he left them out there to die. He wanted her. He needed her, his last thread of humanity lie with her on that bed. When she woke up he thought he was dreaming. She was beautiful in all of her ferocity, but she was scared. When he had gone to her, to comfort her, she hadn't remembered him. Not really. The pain was just too much. Just a few short hours ago he had been praying to whatever gods remained to bring her back to him. Now he wished they would take him instead.

The bar's old door swung open. In stepped Cole and Dom, with Lily bringing up the rear. Her hair was wind blown and her cheeks flushed a light pink. The walk had been harder than she thought. Marcus stood up in the far corner, turned and walked toward the back door. He didn't want her to see him like this. Not here. Cole had other plans. "Hey man, where you headed, this party's just getting started."

"Dammit Cole," Marcus managed to mutter before they had reached him. Dom pulled up a chair for Lily, next to Marcus, of course. She was starving. Dom ordered her something to eat, and grabbed a few beers from the bar. She looked at Marcus and realized how uncomfortable he seemed. Like he wanted to jump out of his skin, and make a run for the nearest exit.

For the first time since arriving she took a visual sweep of the room. Her own personal recon mission. She smiled to herself, she was already starting to think and feel like a Gear again. It looked like lots of civilians had it worse off than she remembered, maybe they just had nowhere else to go. Or maybe they had good reasons for wanting to forget. But why was Marcus here? He had a home to go to, he had his guys, he wasn't alone. Not like the rest of these men. Old Gears littered the bar, scattered in conversation, some sat alone. You could always tell a Gear from a civilian. The scars were a dead give away, but so was the bulky stature, and the odd way they walked. After so many years in COG armor, you had a strange little saunter, very distinctive. Besides, anyone in this day and age who managed to keep any weight on had to have been on the strict nutrition regime of a Gear for quite some time.

Marcus had been staring at her for a few minutes. He wondered what she was thinking, but thought it better not to ask. If she wanted him to know, she'd certainly say something. Lily wasn't one to keep her mouth shut, unless she thought better of it. Cole had run off to talk to a group of men in the corner. He loved reliving his glory days, and this was as good a place as any. Everyone knew The Cole Train, and he reveled in it. Dom was over chatting with a couple of old Vets about the Pendulum wars, and it looked like he'd be sitting there all night. Once a Gear, always a Gear. She laughed quietly to herself.

"What's so funny?" his rough voice startling her back to reality.

"I was just wondering if we're all going to waste away in a place like this when we get discharged."

Marcus hadn't expected her to actually answer. She'd been fairly quiet since they left the hospital. Her candidness was refreshing.

"Well, I guess it's here or the Memorial Wall." he hadn't meant the morbidity of the statement to come out the way it did. He had stuck his foot right in his goddamned mouth. He knew she was having a hard time dealing with her brush with death, and he had unintentionally rubbed her face in it.

She just shrugged, "I guess." She started to eat. The meat was hard and burnt to a crisp. She didn't care to ask what it was she was actually eating. That would have been a mistake. The meat was fine, as long as you didn't know it's origin. The mind had a way of making rat taste bad no matter how it was served.

After cramming a few bites in and washing them down with a sip of beer she decided it was time to talk to Marcus. She was still mad that he had left her with promises unfulfilled. _He really must have been disappointed in her, _ she thought to herself, _Telling me he'd be right outside the door if I needed him, and I had needed him. He just fucking took off to get drunk. What a dick._

"So", she started, "Why'd you take off? I coulda used your help." She was blunt and straight to the point. He was lucky they were in a public place this really could get ugly. She looked him straight in the eyes, demanding an answer. "Really", he replied, "you were probably better off with Dom and Cole. They're good at the whole parental bit. I'd just get frustrated."

Great, more chastising, more comments about her being a child. She was getting pissed off quick. A large man crossed the room headed straight toward them. She hadn't much noticed him closing in on their table. She was fuming at Marcus, this wasn't going to end well. _Either his face or my fist will be broken_ she thought. She felt Marcus had crossed a line, but it was a line she couldn't seem to define. Why was he upsetting her so much? Baird made asshole comments day in and day out, and they never phased her. Why did it bother her so much that Marcus was disapproving of her and unwilling to be clear about it.

She looked up to see a large man, a Pendulum Wars vet by the looks of it, standing over Marcus. He was spouting off something about being a hero this, and saved our asses that. It was the same old song and dance. Praise and bullshit, in the hopes of a hand out. But there was something familiar about this man. Something in his face told her she knew him. His voice had a distinct raking tone, and every hair on her body stood on end. Her eyes grew wide, her shoulders straightened, and her senses went into over drive. She did know this man. She knew him too goddamned well for her own good. Her mind flashed back to her 11th birthday back at the farm, and the man that the doctor had brought to her. She was told to do her duty to the COG. If she was a good girl, she wouldn't get hurt. It was all bullshit. It was a fucking game, and she always lost. Not this time.

Instinct took over, the COG had trained her for this. In all their glory, the COG was nothing more than a killer creating machine; and they were good at what they did. She reached under the table toward Marcus's left thigh. There, strapped to his leg, was his revolver. She knew it would be there, she knew it would be loaded. Before he felt her touch, or the light tug, the revolver was already in plain view above the table. In a motion just as quick, Lily had claimed the high ground. She sat crouched on the old wooden table, legs slightly apart, a growl forming in her throat. She was out for blood. This was her fucking moment. The barrel lightly grazed the man's nose. He hesitated, staring at her, but never moved an inch. A Gear knew better. The slightest flinch and the fight would be over; his brains clinging to the floor.

Marcus slowly rose from his seat, and called out, "Delta, form up." Dom, and Cole now took position. Dom to her back left, Cole to the right. Marcus continued to circle around the table. Lily's hand was shaking, the adrenaline raced through her veins. The pistol still firmly planted on the Vet's face. Marcus approached her slowly and whispered, "Lil, give me the gun." Her eyes grew larger, her brow furrowed and the she shoved the barrel harder, embedding it in the folds of skin on the man's cheek.

All it took was a nod of Marcus's head, and Lily was being dragged off the table by Cole and Dom. They had her firmly in their grasps, but the pistol was still hers. She wasn't letting go, and no one was going to take it from her. She turned her feral gaze to Dom, eyes wild and bloodshot, she begged him silently to let her go, just one second was all she needed to end this. Cole promised her no more bad men, and yet he held her back. She had this right to revenge. No one was going to take it from her. Her features softened as she turned to Cole. With the small voice of a child she spoke, "He's a bad man."

Cole's grip loosened and Dom followed suit, he hadn't heard Lily speak, but he saw in Cole's eyes a new determination. There's a certain look a Gear gets when he's ready for war; ready to die for a cause. When he is ready to kill. Cole's eyes now mimicked Lily's ferocity. Marcus was trying to talk to the man, apologize for her behavior, when she interrupted. " It's okay sweetheart, it'll only hurt for a second, then I promise you wont feel a thing." She spoke through her gritted teeth as she again raised the barrel to his face. Marcus took a step back. Still analyzing the situation, and looking to the rest of Delta. He knew something was up, Cole wouldn't disobey a direct order if there wasn't a good reason. Cole just looked down and shook his head, Marcus knew blood was about to be spilled, and there was nothing he could do about it. She had something to prove, and now was not the time to stop her. He heard the words she spoke, he had an idea what this was about, and if she wanted him dead, than Marcus did too.

The Vet's hand came down hard and fast against her face. "I remember you, Bronsky's little pet, right?" Blood spewed across the room. Discharged or not, this man was a Gear, and he still had the muscle mass to prove it. Her hand wiped across her face, the blood smeared, leaving her fingered marks streaked across her cheek. A primal war mask. She spit, more blood. One sure hit from the vet, was all it took. She snapped. The pistol smashed across the back of his head. All the strength she had left went into the hit. A pistol-whip that would make the toughest of Gears proud, it would've dropped a grub in half a second. And sure as shit, the vet fell to the floor dazed, and bleeding all over the dirty wood panels.

Marcus took Lily by the waist with both hands, and with a reassuring tone spoke slowly in her ear, "It's okay now Lil, he's not going to hurt you anymore. That's what I'm here for honey, to make sure you're okay." Her breathing slowed, and her grip on the pistol loosened. Her rage was fading, and Marcus kissed her cheek lightly. "I wont let him hurt you," he promised, and led her toward Dom, who took her out the door from which they had came, leading her home.

Marcus motioned to Cole, and they both headed to the downed man. Still unconscious they lifted him and took him out the back door. Everyone in the bar went back to their shady dealings, and tear filled beers. Nobody ever saw the old vet again. No one ever asked what had happened out back, and no one dared to speculate. Marcus had killed for less, this wasn't anything new, but this time, at least he had a good reason. His conscience was clean. Her vengeance. His love.


	6. Willing Participant

ANB – Chp 6 – A Willing Participant

The sun blinded her for an instant as they walked on to the street away from the broken door. Her heart was still pounding in her chest, although her breathing had seemingly returned to normal. The sun was low in the sky, late afternoon she figured, as her and Dom walked toward the old apartment building. Her pain pills were starting to wear off, and she could really use a rest. The fight in the bar had completely drained her. As the adrenaline waned, the pain increased.

The stairs were impossible, and Dom gratefully complied and carried the worn out Gear up the the stairs, and into the now darkened apartment. The sound of the front door woke Baird from his deep sleep. He hadn't slept so hard in what felt like ages. He stretched his arms up and back, popping every vertebrae of his long lean back. After a quick stop in the bathroom, he emerged bright eyed, and hungry.

"Where the hell have you been, man?" Dom questioned. Baird ignored the inquiry and set to work in the kitchen. "Damn, Baird, you missed one hell of a fight. You really oughta get out more, man."

Baird shrugged and grabbed a couple beers from the fridge. He sat down on the couch at Lily's feet, handing her the first beer. She smiled and obliged,_ it would be easier to take these pills with a little something to wash em down,_ she thought. "So, what's this about a fight? Marcus have to defend the poor damsel in distress? I'm sure he just loved that." Baird took a sip from his bottle. He nudged her knee and smiled at her.

"No way man, Lily here, she kicked some serious ass. She should have shot him though, if ya ask me."

Baird looked over at the little girl lying next to him incredulously. "This little thing? Really. Well look at you, the big bad Gear returns huh? Glad you're over that fucking princess bit. You had all these 'tards running around on eggshells. About damn time you manned up."

Lily started slowly, sitting up first, "Damon Baird do I detect an attitude problem? I've only been home for a day, and already I've emasculated you? I'm so sorry. Poor thing." Baird just shrugged it off, Dom however was glad to see Lily was starting to lighten up a bit, and he laughed loud and heartily. She finished the beer, and set the bottle down on the table next to her. She wanted another, it was cold, and almost refreshing. It had been a long day, a few more beers, and she'd sleep like a rock.

Baird assured Dom he could handle taking care of Lily, as he grabbed her another beer from the fridge. Dom stayed probably a little longer than needed, but finally having been placated enough, he left in search of Marcus and Cole. He was headed to help in what surely would be a messy clean up, and a little more guy time at the dank and dirty bar. Baird hated that damned place, no one there was worth his time. He'd rather sit here in the dark with Lily, even if neither of them so much as spoke a word.

Baird had always been a little jealous of Marcus. Marcus was the leader, he got the glory, and he got the girl. It was all bullshit. Baird had killed just as many Locusts as the all powerful Marcus had. He had never abandoned his men. Marcus was a frickin' twit as far as Baird was concerned. He didn't really dislike Marcus, quite the opposite actually. Baird looked up to him, Marcus just didn't measure up to the standards that Baird had set.

He looked over to the young girl sitting next to him. _What the hell did she see in Fenix anyway? _Baird stood up, and walked back to the kitchen. _This beer just isn't going to cut it, not today. _He pulled a tall glass bottle from the highest cupboard, and grabbed a couple of short cups. "This is what you really need. A couple shots of this shit, and you wont need any more of your precious pain killers." He poured a bit into a glass and slid it over the table.

"Why? It gonna kill me?" She replied as she sniffed the glass in front of her. It smelled like gasoline, kind of looked like it too. Baird chuckled and swallowed down his first sip. A cringe crossed his face. _Looks painful_, she thought. "Well," she hesitated, "bottom's up." The first shot hadn't gone down as smoothly as planned. She choked, gagged, and gasped. She almost fell off the couch reaching for her open beer. The malt liquid went down nice and cool, soothing the burning in the back of her throat. "Damn, Baird! What the fuck? You really are trying to kill me."

Baird just laughed and poured a little more into her glass. He himself had started to feel the buzz, certainly one more shot, and she'd be drunk all night. She took a deep breath, and threw the burning liquid down her throat. She had bypassed her taste buds completely this time and was glad for it. Another sip from her chaser, and she was drunk. She leaned back on the couch, and felt a little unsure of her surroundings.

Baird scooted a little closer to her. He always kind of had a thing for Lily. As far as he was concerned, Marcus had broken the bro code when he hooked up with her in the first place. Baird had seen her first, and that meant he got the first round. If she had shot him down, than she became free game. Apparently Marcus didn't play by the rules. Now, Marcus wasn't here, and Baird didn't give a shit about the rules any more, if Marcus didn't have to play by them, neither did he. He knew that Lily wasn't his girl, He knew that for all intents and purposes she belonged to Marcus. He just didn't care.

_ Tonight, tonight I'm going to make things right. For me anyway. Lily doesn't have a clue about her and Marcus, maybe she never will. Maybe, just maybe I can finally get what's mine, and Marcus will get what's coming to him._

She hadn't seen it coming, but she wasn't really surprised. She had always thought that Damon had a bit of a thing for her, and what's a little fun between friends. He leaned over, sliding one of his arms under her, to the small of her back. He held her there gently, the knowledge of her injuries fresh in his mind. She hadn't really planned on something like this happening, but after the shit she had gone through today, this might be a welcome distraction. He pressed his lips to her almost forcibly, and she submitted.

He lifted her in his arms, and as if to add injury to insult he headed for the large bedroom at the back of the apartment. He sat her down on her bed, Marcus's bed. He figured it would be a small victory over Marcus, a secret joke only he would know. His lips never leaving her skin, he stroked her neck, her hair, her beautiful and soft face. This was going to be one of the best nights of his life._ She may not remember Marcus, but she'll never forget me,_ he mused. He continued to kiss and caress her, taking it all in, he didn't want to dominate her, so much as please her. He wanted her to remember every single touch, every breath. She moaned with every inch of skin he felt, writhing beneath in him in anticipation.

Baird didn't hear the front door open, Lily was moaning too loudly as he licked the small bud in the crease between her legs. She couldn't remember having ever felt like this. The drugs, The liquor, the intense arousal; it was all so much to take in. Dom saw them first, well, to be fair all he saw was Baird's short blond hair and a nice set of legs wrapped around his shoulders. This was bad. This was really bad. Dom's survival instinct kicked in, and he ran for the bedroom. _Fucking shit Baird, on that bed! Man you have got to have a death wish. Such a fucking idiot. _Dom reached the bedroom door as fast as he could. He grabbed Baird by the nape of his neck and pulled him straight down to the ground.

Lily opened her eyes to the loud commotion. Dom had Baird face down on the hard floor, with his knee firmly planted on the back of his neck. She knew this position, she had used it plenty of times in Basic, men just couldn't keep their hands to themselves. But why was Dom holding down Baird? What the hell was going on? Had she broken some sort of unspoken rule, did she not remember? She sat up on the bed, Dom was yelling something at her, or maybe he was yelling at Baird. She couldn't be sure. She pulled her pants up, and straightened her hair. Now, she was scared. Dominic was a fairly gentle giant. He was a good soldier, great in battle, but a real softy at heart. Not now.

Cole stopped in the living room and waited for Marcus to walk in the front door. Cole wasn't sure what was about to happen, but he knew it wasn't going to be good._ Baird's gonna die,_ he figured, _fuck. _It didn't take Marcus long to survey the situation, with 4 long strides he was standing before his own bedroom door. Cole stood very close behind him. He knew Marcus was going to snap, the tension filled the room. Her smell enveloped all of them. Marcus knew what was going on, at the very least he had an idea. He couldn't look at Lily, he was afraid of what he would see. He walked to Dom, who now had Baird kneeling in front of him. Dom held Baird's arms tightly to the back of his neck.

Lily freaked. She jumped off the bed, and damn near stumbling ran to the bathroom door. _The small room had saved her once from insanity, maybe it would save her again,_ she thought. Cole had reached out to stop her when she passed through the hall, but he thought better of it. She probably shouldn't see what was about to happen. She locked the door behind her, breathing deeply, and contemplating what the hell had just happened.

Marcus growled, his eyes sharp and wide. He looked at Baird, half dressed on his bedroom floor, then looking over to the bed. He walked calmly toward the mattress, and with one smooth motion, had lifted it off the it's box spring and thrown it across the room. His anger continued to grow. All he could smell was Lily, all he could see was red. He walked back toward Dom and Cole, he motioned toward the door, and hesitantly, Baird's only saviors abandoned him to his fate, and walked out of the room.

Baird's back was flat against the wall, his feet a few inches off the floor. Marcus had his left hand around his throat holding him painfully to the concrete slab. Baird tried to beg, he would've pleaded, had he been able to speak. Marcus's right fist landed blow after blow to the pretty blonde's face. There was no end to his rage.

She could hear the load thuds on the other side of the wall, she heard Marcus's booming voice yelling obscenity after obscenity. And then, just as she was questioning whether or not she was next, she heard Baird's shocking confession. "Look, it's not like I forced her, she wanted it, man. At least she'll remember me, you've had her for years, and she hardly knows your name." Another thud, louder than the others, echoed through the small bathroom, shaking the walls around her. Then, the noises ceased. The whole apartment was bathed in silence. She slid down the wall, and started to cry.


	7. Truth

**XXA/N – Okay, here's the deal. Some of you were upset by the fight between Baird and Marcus. First off, I am not breaking up Delta, and at this point in the story Baird and Marcus really haven't known each other all that long. *Gears of War 1 – M: "You're Baird. B: "That's right asshole, question is who the hell are you?"**

**If an attached women(with no memory of her man, mind you) slept with say, that man's brother... what would happen? Her man would beat his own brother's ass strictly out of pride, and then the family would be slightly strained, but would go back to normal. Brothers are brothers, people. **

**ALSO - It's not like she slept with Dom! Come on. And if you don't like the idea of her sleeping with Baird, or Baird getting his ass kicked, then I suggest you stop reading now. And yes, Marcus puts up with it for a little while longer. **

ANB – Chp 7 – Truth

Dom kept banging on the door. She heard him, sure he said everything was fine. Still, she wasn't opening the door, not a chance in hell. No one was getting in this fortress of hers. She didn't care who it was, or what they wanted, no one was invading her only sanctuary. She had cried for at least an hour. The guilt was eating away at her, but the anger grew against the sadness. It overtook her sorrow and raged through her. _They all had known about her and Marcus, every fucking last one of them. Not a single one of her "brothers" had mentioned the fact that she had been involved with him. _ It was all starting to make sense to Lily. The way Baird had laughed when she had called Marcus, Sarge; the silent meetings between him and Dom. _Dom_ she thought, _he was the worst, playing some sneaky fucking game, playing her own emotions against her. No fucking way was he getting in this goddamned bathroom. Go ahead and try you dick, go ahead and try, _she thought.

Finally, the voice behind the door wasn't Dom's. He had given up it seemed, defeated. Cole's booming tone struck her instantly. "Lily, Dammit Lily, open this door we need to talk to you. Baird's fine. You can trust me, baby, you know you can. We'll tell you whatever you want to know, but you need to open this door. Lily, you hear me?" Cole's voice sounded tired and slightly distressed. He was worried about her. He knew she was confused, and guilt-stricken. Cole knew none of this was her fault, he needed her to know the truth too. Baird knew exactly what he was doing. He was using Lily for some sick game he felt he had the right to win. Lily was just a pawn in Baird's fucked up plan.

Lily was hesitant, this was another fucking scheme and she knew it. The alcohol was wearing off, stress had a way of doing that. She needed her pills, and they were sitting on the living room table. _Fuck._ She couldn't bare the physical pain much longer. All her energy was wasted, there wasn't much more she could handle. This really was her last shot at saving face, and still managing her pain. She had to open the door, otherwise they'd end up busting the door in to find her doubled over in pain. That was certainly a lose/lose situation.

"I want my pills", she screamed at the door.

"No problem baby girl, I got 'em right here." was the response from the faceless Cole behind the door.

She stood slowly and unlatched the door. She took a couple steps back, and sat with her left side against the glass door of the shower.

Cole, slowly opened the door, and with a sigh of relief saw her sitting, red-eyed hunched in the corner, her arms wrapped around her legs. Dom, followed him in, and Lily's eyes narrowed. This wasn't part of the plan. She had secretly hoped that Dom had given up on her, she didn't want to talk to the man who had played her all along. She thought she trusted Dom, now she wasn't so sure. Hell, she wasn't sure she trusted Cole either. _Why hadn't they told her about Marcus? Why had they let her make such a fool of herself? _She felt dirty and ashamed. She couldn't look either of them in the eyes.

Cole stood by the door and Dom moved closer to her side. He sat on the floor next to her. His hand open, and outstretched toward her. Lily really didn't want to take his hand. She couldn't admit defeat, but hesitantly, she placed her hand in his. He squeezed it tightly and beckoned her to stand as he did. She obliged, albeit painfully, a small wince was evident and Cole produced the bottle of pills quickly. She down a couple, and waited for their relief to come.

Dom led her silently to the living room. She sat on the far side of the couch. She crossed her arms and legs in front of her, and for the first time since she had ran to the bathroom, she met his gaze straight on. Her tears streamed silently down her cheeks, unable to control them, she just let them fall. Lily was just too tired to fight. This wasn't war, this wasn't a battle No, this was infinitely harder. She was fighting with herself, an endless internal struggle that she couldn't contain. Her guilt was killing her slowly. She knew she had feelings for Marcus, she just couldn't remember that he had shared those feelings for her.

Dom began to speak. Still holding her hand, he told her of the life she shared with his best friend. The past 2 years had been full of love and trust. The other Gears looked to them, and knew that there might be hope for Sera after all. If they could find some happiness, maybe someday the others could too. He told her about their first meeting, how she had left him with a lingering impression. She was all he could talk about for days on end. The guys thought he was losing his mind. How he had commissioned Colonel Hoffman to have her transferred, using her sniping skills as an excuse.

Dom's words were slow and meaningful, "He had an undeniable urge to protect you. He kept saying you weren't safe out there, that he had to make sure you were okay." The tears continued to stream down her face. She was beginning to understand. She wasn't sure she remembered, but she had felt the connection, the physical remembered what the mind could not. The pangs of guilt grew ever stronger.

She couldn't speak. She was at a loss for words; her words couldn't do her pain justice. She just sat there unmoving. "Lily, this isn't your fault." he tried to soothe her.

"Fuck that, if it's not my fault, then where is he, huh? Where's Marcus?" her voice was quiet and unemotional. Her anger growing again. She wanted to see Marcus, she wanted him to soothe her. _How could he? He'll never want me again, I'm just a whore... Trash..._

_ "_Well, baby, we don't know. But he'll be back, I know it. Trust me." Cole, the eternal optimist always knew when his words of wisdom were needed. He smiled at her, and she couldn't fight him, she wanted to with all her being, but a smile formed on her lips, and she was happy. She wanted Marcus to come home, she wanted to touch his skin and breathe in his scent, if even for a second.

The next words from her mouth struck Dom and Cole as necessary but still inappropriate, "Where's Baird?" she had asked before thinking. She regretted saying it before she had even finished. He used her for his own means, and yet she still cared. She was dumb enough to fall for it, and no one was punishing her. She worried that Marcus had really hurt him, or worse.

"Don't worry, he's alright. He's at the clinic downtown. He'll probably come home with more of those happy pills of yours. Hell, he might even be a nice guy for a few days." she caught herself chuckling, and thought it was a little out of place, but couldn't help it. Cole laughed along with her, but Dom didn't waiver. He remained steadfast in his commitment to his best friend, "I wouldn't ask something like that when Marcus gets back, " was all he said.

XXXXX

The three of them sat in silence for mere minutes; contemplating what to do next, when the distinct sound of a key in the front door was heard. All of Lily's muscles tensed, the unexpected always left her on edge. In the faint light of the hallway she saw his silhouette, back-lit by hell itself, she presumed. The three of them remained in silence, unmoving. He closed the door behind him and walked into the dimly lit room. His eyes were red, bloodshot from tears. On his fists scabs had formed, some still bleeding.

Lily rose to her feet, unthinking she walked to the kitchen and found the first-aid kit. Dom and Cole looked on in amazement as she produced a roll of sterile gauze and some sort of anti-biotic ointment. Marcus just stood in the center of living room, unsure what his next move would be. He opened his mouth to speak, only to close it again. Lily stopped him with a quick shushing motion, and beckoned him to sit at the kitchen table, where the light would be better. No words were said as she slathered the ointment on his seeping knuckles. It was the least she could do, and she knew it. She had caused him so much pain, purposefully or not, she had still reeked havoc on his life.

After wrapping his now treated hands with gauze, she sat beside him. She laid her head on his massive shoulder; Dom and Cole still hadn't moved, they watched intently. Uncertainty and tension filled the room. Lily's eyes closed, and more tears formed, streaking down her face. She really hadn't meant to hurt him, she just hadn't known. She sighed heavily, and wished silently that she could take all his pain away. Hurting him actually caused her pain. Maybe that's what love really was. Feeling the pain of another, as if it were you. She desperately wanted him to be happy.

Startled, she looked forward, and saw that his bandaged and bleeding hand had found it's way to her own. The tears flowed harder. She held back the urge to sob uncontrollably. Now, was not the time to fall apart. She had to be strong for him. It was her turn to be the rock, and it was her turn to apologize. She may not have brought this on by herself, but she had been at fault. No matter what her fellow squad-mates wanted her to think. She knew better. Her eyelids closed once again as she squeezed his injured hand. More and more tears; her face and the collar of her shirt nearly soaked.

"I'm sorry," she managed through the torrent of tears. His head turned toward her, and his lips met hers. He quickly retreated. "Never apologize for what he did, Lil." With that, Marcus rose from his seat at the table and headed toward the couch. His fingers still firmly interlinked with hers; she followed. There, they laid for hours. Lily, wrapped in his embrace, and quietly sucking back her sobs. He held her there, unwilling to let go until morning. This was his moment. This moment in time could never be taken from him. She may not have remembered what they had, but he did; and he wasn't letting go.


	8. Renewal

ANB – Chp 8 - Renewal

For the first time in weeks Marcus had a dreamless, peaceful night's sleep. Having Lily in his arms made the nightmares fade. Long after his mind snapped awake, he continued to lay there, he didn't want to disturb her. His arms still firmly wrapped around her waist. He let his mind wander about simpler things. There had been word from Hoffman late last night that the Lightmass bomb hadn't finished the job it was made for. It looked like it had only taken out about half of the underground network, and half just wasn't gonna cut it. Marcus had hoped that somehow that damn bomb would've finished it's job, he just wanted peace. Now, him and the rest of Delta were set to deploy at 1900 hours, and head for the outskirts of Timgad, where the original bombing had taken place. Their job was a simple one. Seek and destroy all remaining Locust activity in the area. Control wasn't expecting any hostiles, or enemy activity, but they had to be sure before they set up a base camp for eval operations.

Marcus wasn't sure he wanted Lil in battle just yet, she still wasn't a 100% and her pills made her a little dazed. It could be really dangerous for her out there. With their sniper gone, Lil would take over. She'd have to define the high ground, and take it on her own. She'd be all by herself up there. It made Marcus nervous just thinking about it. The fact that she could get spotted again upset him, but he had to worry about the guys too. If she wasn't thinking straight, she'd get them all killed. Lily always left her life in his hands, blind faith you could call it, now, it was his turn to trust.

She felt pain before she could even open her eyes. An almost crushing weight on her abdomen, she couldn't move. She snapped her head around trying to see who or what was holding her down, waves of panic, and then she saw him. His eyes were open, looking straight at her. It was just Marcus, she sighed, "Ow" was all she could manage. He loosened his grip on her, and she slid off the side of the couch, gracefully. He continued to watch her, "Where ya goin'?" he asked. Groggily she tilted her head, noticing the blood stained bandages of his right hand, "Bathroom?" she replied. "Then, maybe back to bed." He smiled and nodded, they had a lot to do today, there's no way sleep was in the plans. But, he hadn't wanted to spoil the morning. He sat up as she entered the bathroom, and cracked his neck. Upon standing he headed toward the kitchen,_ mmm...eggs_, he thought.

She started the shower, she had to wash away the evidence and the guilt. She could still smell him. Baird's scent was a mixture of musk and motor oil. She hadn't noticed it much the night before, now it made her sick. She wondered if Marcus would forgive her, or if he already had. He had held her speechless all night, and she couldn't remember having had a better night's sleep. She slept so soundly that all her muscles now ached. The two pills slid right down her throat, she glanced in the mirror for just a second, and got in the shower. Standing there, letting the water wash away her sins, she laughed to herself. In her reflection she had seen a battle hardened gear. Her nose had still been a bit swollen from the slap across her face yesterday, and she was sure she saw a small cut on her lip. _Hell,_ she thought_, a few more years of this and I'll have more scars than Marcus. _

Marcus knocked lightly on the bathroom door. He heard the shower running, but didn't want to startle her. "Yeah?" he heard, and opened the door just far enough to peak around. Her modesty was cute, he thought, as she stood there, head peaking out the glass door. "Still like your eggs fried?"

Lily smiled, her cheeks a blushed pink. She nodded and replaced the sliding glass to the closed position. Marcus probably stood there a little longer than he should have. The glass was beveled, a privacy feature, but he could see the fleshy figure standing under the shower head, and for a second, just a split second he thought about joining her.

The eggs tasted great. She remembered these eggs. Marcus always made his eggs a little to salty, but she didn't mind. She loved his eggs. "Marcus?" she stopped her hand, halting her fork halfway to her mouth. "Yeah, what's wrong?" he replied, slightly worried.

"I... I mean nothing's wrong, I just..." she paused still a little shocked, "I remember...I remember how much I loved your eggs." She couldn't wrap her mind around the thought. She had finally remembered something about her and Marcus, however small it might seem, this was huge. _This was a big fucking deal._ She set her fork back down on the plate, and sat there quietly, just thinking. Marcus finished his breakfast as they sat in silence. He would have been beaming at the thought of Lily knowing something about them, even if it was pretty miniscule, but his mind was on their mission tonight. He had to break the news to her soon, they had to meet up with Colonel Hoffman in about an hour.

"Lil, we gotta talk." he finally started after having set his plate in the already overcrowded sink. "I know you're not feeling real great right now, but Delta's been asked to head out tonight, we've gotta finish up some shit in Timgad." He paused and waited for her reply. "I'll be alright Marcus, it's not like you have to babysit me. I promise, I wont even leave the apartment."

This is what he had been afraid of. Lily was technically on medical leave, but he knew Hoffman didn't give a shit, she was the only sniper that could back up the rest of Delta now, with Carmine gone. She thought they were going in without her, "See, Lil, that's the thing. You're comin' with us. We've got a briefing at Control in less than an hour." He hadn't expected her to respond the way she did. She was beaming, she wanted this. She needed it. "So, what's the deal, just another recon, or we got hostiles?" She fell right back into the groove. She was good at being a soldier, she took pride in it. She'd never been as strong as the guys, or as fast. But, Lily had something they didn't; she could slow everything down inside her mind. She could play out the fight, before it ever even started. Sure, once in a while, she'd be wrong, but never by much. The only exception she could think of was when Dom botched the fucking nade throw. That, she hadn't seen coming. She'd be prepared next time though. She was a wiz when it came to tactics, her trajectory was never more than a hair off, and her hands were the steadiest of any sniper the COG army had ever seen. She used to live for the fight, a chance to show the world she wasn't just another pretty face, or breeding bitch. She was a Gear.

XXXXXX

COG headquarters was the largest building in the city of Jacinto, over bearing and slightly foreboding. It was humanity's glowing beacon of hope, lights always on, and a vibrant radiance could be seen all around. Lily hated the place. It was too sterile, too angular. Every time you walked into Hoffman's office you felt like a kid who had just gotten sent to the principal. Her and Marcus entered the briefing room and sat quietly side by side on the far end of a long and wide table. The rest of Delta already sitting to their left, and eagerly awaiting their orders.

This was the first time she had been in Baird's presence since the night before, and she was glad to see that at least he was alive. His face was about 3 different shades of fucked-up. Black and blue shone brightly against a deep crimson. _His nose had definitely been broken, probably more than once_ she thought. She tried not to stare, but then she noticed his throat. Marcus's large hand print easily visible; still glowing a bright red.

Everybody hated Colonel Hoffman. Delta was no exception to this rule. During the battle of Aspho fields, Marcus had left his fellow soldiers to search for his father. They all knew Hoffman had it out for him after that, especially during the hearing that followed his dereliction of duty. Marcus had been thrown into a Maximum Security Penitentiary, a sentence of 40 years was laid down. Lily had still been back at the farm, and even she had heard about it. _Decorated soldier, leaves battle, ends up in The Slab._ He spent 4 years in that hell hole, before Dom broke him out. Turned out Hoffman had pardoned everyone, the COG needed more soldiers. Of course, he had left Marcus to rot. But, a Gear knew his place, and when Colonel Hoffman walked into the room, each and everyone of them stood and saluted.

"Alright Delta, here's the deal. You're going into Timgad. Should be a clean sweep, seek and destroy all remaining hostiles in the area. We aren't expecting much resistance, but we've got to be sure. The evaluation base has got to be established. We need to know why the bomb failed, and how much of the Hollow was destroyed. More importantly, we need to know how much remains. We can't get this done in a hot zone. You clean house, and you'll come home. Got it?" Hoffman spoke like a man who should be respected, we all knew different. It wasn't the man we respected, it was the uniform, it was everything the COG stood for. We needed the COG, and they needed us.

Lily stood, and addressed the Colonel head on, someday maybe she'd learn to keep her mouth shut. Not today apparently. "Sir, not sure I'm ready for this. I want in on this fight, but maybe, maybe it's a bad idea."

"You've been trained to kill, soldier. That's all that matters now" his reply hadn't calmed her fears for Delta's safety, in fact it had only pissed her off.

"Sorry, sir, I thought I was trained to make a difference." she spoke clearly and defiantly as she turned and walked out the door.

Hoffman's, "You leave at 1900 hours. Dismissed Delta" followed behind her. She knew Hoffman was an ass, but now she knew he was weak as well. _Someday, I'd like to shoot that man, _she thought, chuckling quietly to herself,_ someday._

XXXXXX

It was still early in the day, not even noon, and Lily was bored. She itched for a good fire fight, the anticipation was killing her. She had to fight off the urge to put on her armor; to "suit up" as Marcus had always put it. The five of them sat in a skewed circle around the coffee table in the living room. Lily felt a little nervous, she wasn't sure she wanted to be in the same room as Marcus and Baird at the same time. Marcus, as if feeling a little of the same tension, had his arm wrapped very obviously around her. Apparently whether she recollected their relationship or not, she was his girl, and he made it very clear.

Baird had been unusually quiet at the briefing, and he continued his silence, even now. Maybe Cole was right, maybe they gave him some nice drugs at the clinic, and he was generally in a good mood. _Hard to imagine he can keep his mouth shut this long. _A smile streaked across her face.

"So, Marcus, what's the plan for the rest of the day?" Dom broke the silence.

"R and R. Let's not stress on this shit until we have to." Marcus casually replied.

"I hear that, man." Dom's answer said it all. A communal sigh of relief. It was going to be a long night.

With Marcus's arm still firmly attached to her hip, she just leaned into his side, and closed her eyes. She was still exhausted after yesterday's madness, and just wanted to sleep. Marcus, sensing her drifting, adjusted his weight. Lily's eyes opened, questioning his movement. "You should take your pills now," he said, "you wont be able to take any more tonight. I can't have you all fucked up, you..." he paused, "someone could get hurt." Lily nodded and reached for the pills that sat on the table in front of her. She paused, looking at the bottle. _Only 2 left, huh,_ she smiled, _I guess I'm on my own now._

She stood from the couch, she was so tired, and headed toward the bedroom. Half way down the hall she paused, and stood, conflicted and motionless. Her and Marcus had slept on the couch the night before, and now it occurred to her why. "Dammit," she yelled as she dropped to her knees. In all her childish glory, she knelt before her bedroom door, unwilling to go any farther; not turning back. She didn't want to upset Marcus, and obviously this bed would be a constant reminder of her indiscretions from the night before. The mattress still lay on it's side, half way across the room. No one had even dared enter the room after Marcus had left last night. _Alright_, her mind finally kick back into gear, _I can either stay here on the fucking hallway floor, or I can get in there, and clean up my own fucking mess._

It didn't take her long to decide, and before she had realized what she was doing, she'd already stripped the mattress of it's sheets, and placed it back on it's base. The pillows now sat, bare as well, on top of the bed. She gathered the linens in one arm and marched toward the front door. Marcus was watching her intently, and Baird had quietly retreated to his own room. His avoidance was a good idea. He probably wouldn't survive another round with Marcus's fist.

Lily returned a short while later. Her face was flushed and her eyes bloodshot. She had taken all 3 flights of stairs on her own and thrown the linens in the dumpster behind the building. Determined, she walked back up the stairs, slower than before, tears running down her cheeks. It wasn't her pain, and it wasn't sadness. It was pure willpower streaming down her face. She wasn't going to let this get to her, she wasn't going to let him down again. She wanted to be Marcus's girl, and she knew that there's only so much shit a person can put up with, before they're done.

Marcus watched as she walked, with her head high, right passed all of them sitting there in the living room; not giving him so much as a glance. She continued confidently down the hallway and without hesitation crossed the threshold of her room. She made the bed slowly, making sure everything was just right. She turned off the light, and left the door slightly ajar. Her commitment renewed, she let herself fall lightly on to the bed behind her. Peace and quiet, finally. She closed her eyes, drifting slightly, waiting for him to come. Somewhere in her dreams, she could smell him. His scent unraveled around her, she breathed him in, beckoning him to move closer.


	9. Boom

ANB – Chp 9 - Boom

When she woke up, Marcus was already dressed, and standing next to the bed. He leaned in and kissed her, "We've only got a couple hours, you gotta get up."

She rolled on to her back, and stretched out on the bed, "Okay, yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

Marcus left, just as she stood up. She dressed quickly, and after stopping in the bathroom, she joined the rest of Delta for dinner. "What's on the menu?" she asked as she sat in the only empty chair.

"Meat. Eat up." Dom had cooked up what one could only assume was some sort of large rodent. He had been nice enough to discard whatever remained of the beast out of view. Before a mission we always ate meat. Marcus had said it would stick with us longer than anything else, and we never knew when we'd get another chance to eat.

No one really spoke much as they ate. Lily was sitting next to Marcus, still a little flushed from their encounter earlier. Dom couldn't take his eyes off of her, and when her gaze met his, he just smiled. She knew what he was thinking, _About damn time! _The walls of the apartment were thin, it wouldn't have surprised her if the old lady on the first floor had heard them. She had made a promise to herself to make this work, and sharing the bed again, just the two of them, was a good start.

When she had finished eating, she walked to the kitchen. Staring down at the absurdly over filled sink, she decided it was time to start picking up the slack. She didn't know when they would get back from Timgad, and this mess couldn't sit here much longer, it was starting to stink. She washed the dishes diligently, trying to concentrate on the mission before them. The others sat in the living room discussing plans of attack. It seemed they never tired of the same old conversations. She had heard it all before. "I'll take point on this one." "Make sure you flank, right. I'll cover left"

Before she knew it, Marcus had called out, "All right, Delta, suit up." She sat the towel on the counter, and headed for the hall closet. She pulled down five large duffel bags. Each one printed on the outside with one of their last names. She chucked them across the living room, pulling her's from the closet last. "I had to pull some strings," he said, "but we got you some new armor." She smiled, she had almost forgotten about the chainsaw. It was hard to come by supplies in this brave new world of theirs, and armor was pricey, even the used stuff. The COG had limited means now, and she was surprised the boys had even thought about requisitioning it for her.

He dropped a black bag on the floor at her feet, "Have at it." She grabbed both of her bags, and headed to the bedroom. The boys had made some sort of stupid ritual of getting dressed together. She didn't care to stay, she really didn't need to be reminded of Baird's bare chest. Her new armor fit like a glove, well as close to a glove as COG armor could fit. She tossed the helmet aside, and picking up her tac/com, decided she was ready for war.

XXXXXX

"Control, this is KR-26, Delta's landed, we're headed back." The King Raven flew out of sight, and Delta moved forward. They had another 20 minutes before they reached the city. You just couldn't get those damn Raven's to land in a hot zone. They continued on foot. Delta had a new look. These weren't the men she'd spent so many hours with at home. No, these were soldiers, and so was she. Lily carried her Longshot rifle on her back, pistol on her hip and her lancer firmly in the grip of both hands. Her duffel slung over her right shoulder held her ammo, and back up weapons; just in case shit hit the fan. If all went according to plan she wouldn't be running through the streets with rest of Delta. As soon as they reached the city she would analyze the best cover and take up a surveillance position.

The outskirts of Timgad looked like rubble. There wasn't a whole lot left. She turned her tac/com on, and started off on her own. Marcus gave her a knowing look, and continued forward. Sweeping was a pretty simple task. Lily would take up shop near the center of the city, in whatever strong hold could be found. The taller the building, the better. She was their eyes and ears on this one. Straight out of Basic, Lily had been a sniper. Her skills were unsurpassed, and her reload speed was quick as lightning. This was an elementary mission, but a Gear knew better than to get too comfortable. When you least expected to get hit, is always when you did. She knew this all to well after last time.

She spotted her mark, Control's direction's were golden. She radioed the others, "ETA til setup, 5 minutes." She climbed the stairs in record speed; ignoring the pain in her damn abdomen. Soon, the adrenaline would fill her, and the pain would be gone. She could feel the pain tomorrow, but Hoffman was right, the only thing that mattered now, was her ability to kill. The roof was sturdy enough. She set up her rifle and the infrared. It's hard to get a clean shot in the dark without it. Grubs ran a little cooler than humans, made them easier to spot on warm nights like this. She took a deep breath and tapped her com, she smiled, "Delta, we're up. Start the sweep." _Damn_, she thought, _I missed this._

She kept an eye on every movement they made, she was in the zone. The occasional sound of Marcus's voice reassured her, "Clear," was all he said. She stayed in contact with Control. They measured the seismic activity, you could always tell when the E-holes would open up, you just never knew where.

"Delta, this is Control, come in."she listened intently as Marcus yielded the call. "We've got activity, south side of the city." Lily turned and ran to the opposite side of the building. Sure as shit, there they were, 10 maybe 15 grubs climbing up from the bowels of the Hollow. "Delta sweep left, we got hostiles 2 clicks east of your position." she announced it, as if her life depended on it, and it damn well might have.

"How many Lil?"

"One hole. Dozen or more drones. Take 'em down boys."

She crouched behind the ledge of the old and decrepit building. This was her gift; what she was made for. One more deep breath, and she had two of the ugly fucks lined up in her sights. One pull on the trigger, and one bullet. Both grubs fell, brain matter turned to mist. _There's that adrenaline_, she smiled, "That's two boys, you keepin' count?"

"Yeah, baby!" Cole's voice boomed from the ear piece.

"Sweet" Dom was always short and to the point. His encouragement never faltering.

"Stay low." Marcus was never one for whispering sweet nothings.

She lined up a couple more, when she saw her boys rounding the corner. "Alright boys, Dom, you got one at 2 o'clock. Marcus, there's a Kantus gunning for you, right at 10." This was her home, right here on this roof, she was a God; nothing mattered but those men on the ground.

Baird decided it was time to show off. He ran; chainsaw whirring straight into the face of the unsuspecting bug. "You see that sweetheart? Hail to the king, baby!"

Who was he kidding, she saw everything from up here. _Wait for it, one, two, three, _she mentally ticked off the seconds. Another shot rang out. The drone never saw it coming. He had Baird flanked, and she had his head in no time. _No one touches my boys, motherfucker! _

"Dammit, Lil, Quit taking my kills." Baird yelled into his Com.

"Sorry, bad habit. That's 3." she replied.

The rest of the Locust fell one by one. Half of them she claimed herself. She owed those goddamned bugs that much. "What the hell is that sound?" Marcus questioned. She scoped the area... before she had spotted it, Marcus voice, in a hushed tone came over the Com, "Nobody fucking move. Berserker." Lily tapped her earpiece, and in a whisper contacted control for satellite support. The only way to take down a Berserker was the Hammer. The Hammer of Dawn, had been the worst of the COG weapons of mass destruction. A gun powered by imulsion. You pointed the laser, held the target for a few seconds, and as long as you were outside and had satellite coverage, a rain of fire fell upon your target. This is what had destroyed half of Sera. The COG couldn't settle for good enough, they fed on destruction.

Lily unzipped her duffel, while awaiting the confirmation from Control. Her heart sank as the voice on the other end of the line spoke, "Negative Delta, Satellites are 20 minutes out."

"Fuck." was Lily's only reply. She switched channels, thinking quickly, she spoke softly to her squad.

"Alright boys, listen carefully, we don't have satellite. The hammer isn't going to take this bitch down. We are." Silence on the other end of the line. That was smart. Berserker's were blind, but they could smell you from 20 feet, and they had a keen sense of hearing. This was the Locust's greatest weapon. "You've got to plant one on her. Two if you can." she continued. Baird whispered into the comm, "fucking suicide."

"Look, you get the grenades on her. Hell... near her, and I'll blow the bitch wide open."

"Lil," came Marcus's soft reply, "That's too tough a shot."

"Come on Marcus, you know me better than that, it's not the Longshot, baby. I've got this shit on lock down."

And she did. Lily had, what one might call, a secret weapon. She'd stashed it in her duffel bag before they had jumped on the Raven. It was technically considered contraband; not standard COG issue.

She loaded the single round into the hulking weapon. The Boomshot, is what they had called it. Something like a rocket launcher with a pistol grip. She wasn't screwing around. She only had one chance to get this right. If she missed, her location would be made. Delta would be too far away, and in too much danger to save her.

Marcus sighed on the other end of the com, "Alright Lil, don't fuck this up. Delta, flank and tag the bitch." With that, Cole, and Dom set out; they had circled the block, one in each direction. Both of them fully armed, but bullets didn't matter when you were faced with a Berserker. All that mattered now was speed. "Now", she yelled in to the Com, She held the Boomshot in both hands, as soon as her squad was clear, this would all be over.

Dom and Cole tagged one frag grenade a piece into the beast, and managed to roll in opposite directions; disorientating the hulking monster. "It's now or never, Lil," Marcus's encouraging words fell upon deaf ears. She couldn't hear anything, she had to focus. This had to be perfect. She had only fired a Boomshot once, and not very successfully at that. Now, Marcus's life was on the line; there was no room for error. Her death cry shot from her lungs, "Want blood, Bitch? Eat this!" She squeezed the trigger. The recoil nearly knocked her on her ass. If she had been standing, she would have earned herself another concussion.

The target had been acquired, the shot had been true. The bitch was completely decimated. The blast from the frags made sure nothing was left standing. "Nothing but bits, baby" a lone voice proclaimed. "Let's go home, Delta."


	10. Going Down

**A/N - okay, disclaimer, like I said before if you don't like her sleeping around a bit, then I suggest you don't read this chapter! I'd hate to offend you ; )**

**~Although Lily has some feelings for Marcus, she still has very little recollection of her past. She KNOWS she is Marcus's girl, yet she's having a really hard time with the actual emotions surrounding it. She's kinda just along for the ride. She wants to do whats right, but she can't quite get there. But, she's one hell of a soldier huh! Even after taking a chainsaw to the gut!**

**Anyone noticing a pattern with those pain pills? Aw, we'll see...**

ANB – Chp 10 – Goin' down

"Control, this is Delta. Hot zone has been cleared." Marcus started walking toward the central building. Lily packed up her bag, and wiped the sweat from her forehead, as she tapped her Com one last time to turn it off. The last of the Locust party had been completely decimated, she had no use for it now. Besides, the guys on the other end, her boys as she called them, wouldn't shut up. She needed silence, just for a minute, she had to bring herself back. The battle always took her a little too far from her own reality. Her mind needed the time to phase back, back to _now_. The muscles in her abdomen began their usual assault, as she lugged the bag down the stairs.

"Delta, this is control. What about the Berserker? Satellites just came online."

"Negative, Control. Berserker's neutralized. We're ready to go home." Marcus's step lightened, and he felt just a little more relaxed. _Lil, really came through,_ he thought_, I never should have doubted that girl. _He was proud of her, she really pulled it off, not one of them could have done it better. He couldn't keep himself from smiling. "KR two six is inbound. ETA in 20."

She walked out the back of the building to find Marcus and her boys waiting anxiously. Marcus couldn't stand the thought of her alone, especially since she always turned her Com off. She had an innate ability to drive him crazy. She tossed her bag on the ground in front of her and sat on top of it. The pain was inching ever closer to uncontrollable. The fight had taken a lot out of her, not to mention the damn stairs. She took a few deeps breaths, they were surrounded by dark. "So, we got an Evac point? How long?" she was tired.

"Lookin' at ten minutes, we gotta get back to the drop point."

She sighed, she knew it was at least a 20 minute walk back, which meant she wouldn't be resting any time soon. Baird, knowing she was in pain, walked cautiously toward her. Team or not, Marcus wasn't fond of him near Lil now, and he knew it. He pulled a small orange bottle from his pocket and placed it squarely in her hands, "Here, " was all he said, and started off into the dark. Marcus growled lowly in the back of his throat. Lily shot him a look from the corner of her eye, "Fuck Marcus, leave it alone," and swallowed her saviors in one quick shot. By the time they got home, she'd be less stressed, and in a lot less pain. Marcus walked closely beside her through the broken streets. When they had caught up with Baird, the Raven was already in sight. _Now, for a nap,_ she thought.

The flight back to Jacinto would take about an hour, and she needed the rest. The gang climbed in and they headed for home. She had passed out as soon as the pain killers kicked in. Marcus sat calmly next to her, her head planted firmly to his chest. "You did good Lil, you did good." he assured her. Delta spent the next half hour discussing the amazing battle. Cole was just as excited as ever and still pumped from the action. It's practically a miracle Lily slept at all through the constant, "Woooo!" and "Yeah, baby"'s that accompanied nearly every sentence Cole spoke.

Baird just stared out the side of the Raven, while Dom and Marcus discussed whether or not Lily would ever get her 'emotional' memory back, and if it even mattered.

"Hey, what the fuck's that sound?" Baird yelled, while still staring out into the darkness that was Sera. Squinting, eyes narrowed, he saw a bright light, growing ever larger. "Fuck me, brace yourselves." Marcus held on tight. One hand on the main support bar of the inside of the Raven, the other tightly wrapped around Lily's waist. "One more hit like that, man, and we ain't makin' it home" Dom's voice was shaky. Even Gears got scared. Lily heard Marcus's voice through the commotion, "Get us the fuck out of here!"

XXXXXX

The pilot did a hell of a job laying that bird down. Granted the landing gear was gone, and everyone aboard damn near pissed themselves, but somehow, they all made it in one piece; mostly. As soon as the dust and smoke had cleared, Marcus removed his restraints and headed to the cockpit of the Raven, a congratulations was in order. It took a damn good pilot to out fly the Boomshot.

"Shit" was all he could say. The pilot had bled out. After the first hit, it looked like something had made it's way right under his ribs. The blood pooled around the fallen Gear's body. Marcus gently took the young soldier's Cog tags from around his neck and placed them on his own. "You did good kid. I'll make sure they know," without another sound they exited the fallen Raven. Delta still intact, walked toward what appeared to have once been a small town. Just a few buildings, mostly in ruins, lay before them.

Marcus took point as usual, and the Gears strolled forward; unsure of what lay ahead. Lily walked by Marcus's side praying they hadn't landed where she thought they had. After the past couple of days she wasn't sure she could handle it. Marcus had radioed Control to let them know they had out ran the Locust Horde, and were going to fortify themselves in the nearest town until morning. Lily recognized the abandoned post, _fuck_, she thought, _why did it have to be here. "_Hey, Marcus, this doesn't look like much of a stronghold, maybe we should keep going." she was hopeful he'd take the bait, but she knew better. "What are you talking about Lil, this is it."

_Crap, here we go again. _Her silent agony went unnoticed. They walked into her own personal hell. No one but her was aware of the true nature of this place. She'd grown up here. This was Bronsky's little haven. _Bastard. _She kept walking. As they closed in on the large warehouse-type building in the middle, she nudged just a little closer to Marcus. "Alright Delta. Let's sweep the building, then we'll set up for the night."

They entered the building, and the security system kicked in. It was the only defense the women and children inside would have had against the nightly raids by the Locust. She remembered. "Down!" she screamed. Delta hit the dirt, and watched as the laser torrents swept the ground not 2 feet in front of them. "You mind telling me just exactly how you knew that was gonna happen, sweetheart?" Baird's tone struck her as that of a little boy, pissed he hadn't seen the shiny new toy first.

Marcus stood up, and took a few steps back, "Lil?" he questioned. "I've been... fuck!" she started again in a calmer tone, "I grew up here." She was ashamed. It's a good thing it was dark, or the rest of her squad might have seen the broken face she held in front of them. Marcus, having noted the tone of her voice, put his hand on her shoulder, "So, how do we get in?"

"We've got to turn the defense system off. There's just one thing," she added, "it's kind of in the basement." She could probably get to the small utility room on her own, but the bypass mechanism was complicated, she wasn't sure she knew how to turn it off. She shrugged, "I'll need help."

"Baird, you heard the lady, get your ass up here, and keep your Com on." Marcus hadn't sounded too pleased with the idea of Lily and Baird working together, alone. But Marcus did would any good leader would do, he set his personal issues aside for the good of his team. "There's only one way we can get in." She informed them.

"Yeah, yeah, let's get this over with." Baird secretly reveled in the fact that they needed him, but he couldn't let them see it. Marcus and Dom stayed near the front of the building, keeping guard, and being careful not to trigger the system again. Cole followed Lily and Baird to the back entrance.

Lily hunched down and wiped the dirt clear, revealing a large bunker type door. Two shots of her pistol and the lock was in pieces. "Cole, you stay here and watch our asses."

"You got it, baby. Nothing gets passed the Cole Train." He leaned against the brick building, "Don't take too long, them grubs is ugly, and I don't like ugly"

She opened the latch and led the way, Baird followed behind cautiously. Networks of tunnels unfolded before them. It's a good thing she knew her way around, his eyes couldn't seem to pierce the darkness. The security room door was locked, a keypad sat to the right of the entrance. "Hey Baird, you think you can get us in?"

"If it gets me out of this creepy fucking place, I can do anything." Sure enough, he bypassed the keypad and the door opened. Light flooded from the too small room, illuminating the cellar with a dull red glow. Lily surveyed the room, and found the panel she was looking for on the left side of the far wall. "Here." she proclaimed. In the dim light of the panels around her, Baird saw her features glow.

"We found it, Marcus," she spoke into her Com, informing the others of their small triumph. "Just get us in Lil," was the only reply. The Com clicked off. Static on the other end. _Crap_, she thought, _the Jammers just kicked in. _

Baird tried to hide his smile, _about damn time things started going my way_, he mused.

"Hey, Baird, we've got to get this shit turned off, they can't even hear us up there." she turned to see he had been standing right behind her. His arms reached out and grabbed her middle. He lifted her from the ground, and pushed her against the wall. She wanted to to stop him, but his lips met hers, and all her protests melted away. "Damon," only a whisper escaped her trembling lips. Her armor already dropping to the floor, she couldn't fight this. Part of her really wanted his touch, craved it.

When he entered her, she moaned. Pleasure flowed through her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her hands weaved through his short blonde hair. He continued to thrust. Deeper and deeper inside of her. His head was tilted up, her eyes closed, neither looked at the other. They knew it was wrong, knew it couldn't happen, and yet neither of them stopped. _Right and wrong be damned_, he thought, _she wanted this_. Baird had such passion. A determination that Marcus lacked. He continued to ravage her, she continued to submit.

XXXXXX

"What the hell, man? The Com's dead" Dom remarked, still standing guard at the front the facility. "Yeah, shouldn't be much longer though. Lil said they found the room."

"Good, cause the dark freaks me out."

"Yeah." Marcus had other things on his mind. _It's taking too goddamned long down there. Maybe they ran into trouble. Shit, _he thought. "Let's go around the side, and see if Cole's got anything."

XXXXXX

Cole had been leaning against the broken wall when he heard them. The Jammers only worked long distance, and Cole had a front row seat to the scene in the basement. He could hear the moaning, and the whispering of Baird's name. "Not again", he said quietly. _That boy has got to learn to keep his dick in his pants, and...well fuck girl keep your knees together._ _Damn._ He squeezed through the small opening, and followed the light through the dark hallways. By the time Cole reached the security room Lily was already putting her gear back on, Baird sat in a chair in the far corner of the room facing the large metal panel.

Lily placed her com back in her ear, and looked up to see Cole standing in the small doorway. His face was stone cold. Lily didn't know how long he had been standing there, but she knew it was long enough to know what she had done. Cole's voice broke the silence, "You about done over there, blondie?" Baird turned to see Cole's hulking figure leaning in over him. The room was quiet. Baird swallowed hard, "Yeah," he replied.

"Good, because if you so much as think about doing that again, your ass will have a meeting with my fucking boot." Lily looked to the floor, she knew it was wrong; but it had felt so right. _Maybe in a different life,_ she thought to herself.

The three of them left the room, quietly following Cole's lead. When they emerged from the steal doors, they saw Dom and Marcus standing there, impatiently. Cole explained how he had heard something, and worried, he had gone to check it out. "Everything good?" Marcus asked, "Yeah, baby, let's get in there and get some rest." Cole's secret never showing through his chipper facade.


	11. The End of the Road

ANB – Chp 11 – End of the Road

Just before dawn the first King Raven came into view. Lily couldn't have been more thankful. The night had been horrible. She slept in Marcus's arms on the floor of the disgusting breeding farm. The guilt was excruciating. _What's wrong with me_, she had thought, _why can't I just be happy with what I have? _She hadn't slept much. Her conscience wouldn't let her get away with what she had done, her own proverbial tell-tale heart. _More pills._

She hadn't been able to look Marcus in the eye since they exited the basement the night before. Now, even as they all boarded the Raven her eyes remained locked on the ground in front of her. Cole knew the truth, Baird was as cocky as ever, and Marcus couldn't know. _A man can only put up with so much, even a man like Marcus_. Her eyelids, heavy from the lack of sleep the night before, closed; and she drifted.

She hadn't sat next to Marcus on the flight home. He knew something was up. He could smell the grease from Baird's hair on her hands as they locked fingers the night before. He had known as soon as the Com went dead. He knew that Cole was avoiding him, and Lily, the poor girl, practically wept in her sleep. Marcus wasn't stupid. On the contrary he had an unmatched intuition. He just didn't know how to feel about the whole thing. If Lil wanted to be with Baird, fine, it didn't change how he felt about her. How could it? She was his everything, the only reason he fought this war, was to have a life with her. Now, he'd just have to fight harder. Of course, it did change how he felt about Baird. _If the guy is willing to face my fist again, he's either got a death wish, or he's in love with her. _

They landed in Jacinto just as the sun rose over the walls of the massive city. Light spread over the streets, illuminating everything it touched. Lily's eyes opened to see Marcus standing over her, staring. "You're going home with the guys, I've gotta talk to Hoffman." he told her, as he helped her off the Raven and on to the landing pad. She followed slowly after her squad, eyes hardly open, "Oh, and Lil, stay out of trouble."

Her eyes shot open as the panic raced through her veins. _What the hell did he mean by that? Does he know? Fuck!_ With nowhere to run and nowhere to hide she just nodded and turned back toward the rest of Delta, her mind still whirling. She never looked up from the ground. She trudged along, deep in thought and full of guilt. Before she knew it, they had arrived in front of the old gray building, that was their home. _Stairs. More pills._

The apartment felt less and less like home. A tinge of guilt. She needed a shower, she had more sins that needed to be absolved. Only the warm water could cleanse her now, and she knew it. All the guys sat in the living room, and began to remove their armor. It looked like Dom was going to start breakfast. By the time they were done eating she'd probably be done in the shower, she figured, and headed toward the hallway. She threw her gear on the floor, and walked into her room of solace, surely it would save her one last time.

She bypassed the mirror completely; no time for vanity. The water ran hotter than usual. _Excellent_, she thought. She let her clothes drop to the floor, and found her sweet release in the searing heat of the water that fell over her. _Never Again_, she thought, _I can't keep doing this_. _He loves me. Surely, that's enough_. She sighed.

She hadn't been in the glass stall long, when the bathroom door opened. _That was fast_, she thought, assuming Marcus's figure would soon fill her view. Beyond the beveled glass she saw him, and it wasn't Marcus who stood before her. He stripped down, and opened the sliding glass door. "No!" she yelled in Baird's face as he started to step into the shower stall with her. A loud smack echoed through the small room. She slapped him; a direct hit to the side of his face. The welt already starting to show. "Get out," she tried her best to sound intimidating. Baird smiled at her, "Oh come on, you know you like what you see. Besides Marcus isn't even here." He reached out toward her nude body, firmly grasping her left wrist. Another loud sound filled the room. This time she hit him right in his already swollen nose; closed fisted and furious.

She fell to floor, slipping on the water already pooling there, as she tried to leave the bathroom. Her fortress had let her down, this was not a sanctuary as she had previously thought. This room was nothing more than a prison. It hadn't held out the world she feared, it only kept her inside her own torment. Climbing back to her feet she ran to the door, and opening it; she saw Cole. He stood still, analyzing the situation. He saw her face, bloodied from her fall. He saw Baird stark naked standing there one foot in the tub, the other on the floor. She swept passed him, not so much as sparing a glance behind her. She ran to her room; Marcus's room, and locked the door behind her. _A new stronghold,_ she thought, _maybe the walls of this one wont crumble so easily. _

She sat on the bed, soaking wet and naked and scared. More pills. The sounds from the other room assured her that Cole had meant what he said the night before. She screamed, "No!", but no one heard her, and no one cared too. It had occurred to her that Baird might have actually had real feelings for her. Now, she wasn't so sure. Her wrist ached, it was swollen and red. _Was he really going to hurt me?_ She questioned quietly to herself. She could hear Dom's voice in the bathroom, she was scared Baird really wouldn't make it out of there alive. Brother's or not, loyalty only ran so deep, and Baird had crossed a line. She knew it; they all knew it. She wrapped the sheet around her, the breezes that swept through the drafty old building made her shiver. Or maybe it was the fear. She wasn't sure. She sat there for what seemed like ages, crying tears of guilt, shame, remorse. Eventually, she slipped off into an uncertain sleep still filled with the sounds of a broken man.

Marcus had come home to one hell of a sight. Baird was lying naked on the living room floor. In the fetal position, bloodied, beaten and unconscious. Marcus's eyes peaked open and he walked to the fridge for a beer. Cole and Dom, still pumped from the adrenaline tried to relay the story to Marcus. "Well," he said, looking at Cole, "when were you going to tell me about last night? You didn't seem so worried about all of this shit then."

Cole's face tensed, he hadn't figured Marcus had know about the basement encounter, "This was different." he replied. Dom stood motionless, trying to figure out what had happened the night before. Marcus stood up, beer in hand, "So, where is the little trouble maker?" Dom and Cole looked toward the bedroom, "Door's locked though, man. Think she's asleep." Dom replied.

Marcus walked passed Baird's crushed form, and down the hallway. He stood before his own bedroom. He hesitated for just a second, _this was going to be a tough conversation_, he thought, and he unlocked the door. She was lying motionless, peacefully wrapped in the sheets from the bed. Her eyes were puffy from her sobs, and her hair had dried completely flat on the one side. She was beautiful; even broken, she held her grace. He shut the door behind him and sat down on the bed next to her. He stroked her face and moved a small strand of hair from in front of her eyes. She held her own hands in front of her heart, and he could see the swelling in her left wrist. He twitched. _This certainly is different._ Her face still speckled in the blood from her own nose, and a couple of her right knuckles were split and starting to scab.

She felt his presence before she opened her eyes. Her fortress had come though for her this time. It only let the right ones in, she smiled. She curled her body and laid her head softly in his lap. His armor was painfully solid, but she didn't care. He stroked the top of her head, and started speaking slowly, measuring his words cautiously. "Lil, this has got to stop. I can forgive anything, but seeing you get hurt... it kills me." He paused, waiting for her reply.

She tried to stay calm. The tone of his voice said more than his words ever could; and they were telling her he was done._ Fine,_ she thought, _if that's how you want it. I'm laying here bleeding, for you, and you have the audacity to blame me! Who the fuck are you kidding? _She just nodded, and whispered, "You're right. I'll leave in the morning." She didn't really want to go, but thought it the only way. Marcus was right, they couldn't keep playing these games, and Baird was like a brother to him, she couldn't come between that.

He straightened his back, and took his hand from atop her head. He hadn't expected her to want to leave. He was angry. _After all this shit, she's gonna leave me? Fuck._ He stood, and her head fell to the bed. He looked at her one last time, and walked out of their room. This isn't how he wanted this to go. He was hoping to have a real conversation, to work some things out. He wanted to tell her he loved her, he wanted her to say it back. He didn't want this.

He saw Baird was awake finally, and he and the boys took him to the downtown clinic; leaving Lily alone in her misery. He kept his pain tight to his chest. Lil was leaving, the squad would find out sooner or later, he just couldn't let it be now. Eventually, she'd have to commission Hoffman to be transferred, then everyone would know.

They had left her alone, _I guess it's just as well_, she thought, _at least I can pack in peace._ She grabbed the black bag Marcus had given her the day before, and opened her foot locker. She hastily threw everything that mattered into her bag, and got dressed. _Back to the barracks. Crap. _She had told Marcus she would be gone by morning, but she didn't want to be around when he got back. It would be too painful, for her at least. She knew she had made some mistakes, lord knows, more than her fair share, but to blame her for what Baird had done, that was the last fucking straw. She was out the door, and down the steps in no time. Her fury was all that held back her tears.

**A/N: Okay, I want to clarify the situation with Lily and Baird. Baird was NOT actually going to hurt Lily, or force her to do anything. This was a classic case of too little thinking, and lack of communication. Not too mention Cole showed up in the middle of the whole bit, and got a serious wrong impression from Lily's bloody nose and what not. Baird will be fine. **

**Also - With Lily and Marcus - another classic lack of communication. Only this time, they both OVER thought it, and neither one said what they should have. Anger and other emotions can get the best of us sometimes.  
**


	12. Rock Bottom

**A/N - Yes this chapter is very *emo* and it is full of semi-suicidal notions. Eh, like it or not... here it is-**

ANB – Chp 12 – Rock Bottom

As she rounded the corner, she saw the shitty little bar. She had planned to head back to the Coalition headquarters and find an empty bunk, but it looked like there were rooms above the tiny dive, and she thought she'd check it out. Marcus certainly wouldn't search for her here, and she didn't want to be found. The barracks would be safer, of this she was sure, but this would be better. No one here knew about her and Marcus, and there would be no one around to judge.

The upstairs apartments were generally reserved for seedier clientele, but with a wad of cash in her hand she managed to make a decent deal. She'd pay by the week, and as long as she didn't start any trouble she could stay as long as she liked. The stairs were slightly hidden, near the back entrance, which would certainly come in handy if she recognized anyone in the place. She headed to the first door,_ no lock, figures_ she thought. The door creaked open at the slightest touch,_ yeah, this'll do_, she set her bag on the bed, and began to unpack.

She pulled a clump of clothing from the center compartment, and tossed them aside. _Clink, clink,clink. _She stared at the golden metal ring that had fallen from her discarded laundry. Her head tilted; her eyes disbelieving. She bent down and picked up the shiny little thing. She twirled it around in her hand, inspecting the inscription on the inside. Worn and faded, the cursive letters almost too gone to be read. She blinked, if she hadn't known what it said, she may never had deciphered the ruined text. _Fenix. _She knew this ring. This was Marcus's mother's ring.

Her mind slowed and tried to wrap a single contiguous thought around the golden wedding band. Her memories flooded back; overwhelmed she reached for her almost empty orange bottle. More pills. _This might require a stiff drink_, she thought. She held the ring tightly in her left hand, and walked down the narrow stairs, and acquired a large glass bottle of clear liquid. _Gasoline_, she smiled. _Yeah_.

Back in her room she sat in the far corner just under the blacked-out window. Her pistol lay by her side, just in case. The bottle of liquor sat open and half empty in front of her. More pills. She sat there for hours staring at the ring Marcus had given her. She felt remorse, she felt shame. She was tired of feeling._ Another shot of this shit, and maybe I can forget. _She threw the alcohol straight back, swallowed, and repeated. She remembered the first day she had met him. She was slightly younger then, and slightly more stable. He had fallen hard for her and everyone knew it. He somehow even convinced Hoffman that Delta needed her. _He was such a sneaky bastard. _

The tears just kept coming, and so did the liquor. She thrived on the burn in the back of her throat, the pain in her stomach just after she swallowed. She hadn't eaten yet today. She remembered with every shot, and didn't care. She remembered their first kiss, their first fight together against the Locust, and she remembered the first time they laid down together on his bed. More guilt washed over her. Then, finally, sleep came, and as if her memories weren't enough, the nightmares soon followed.

The next day was more of the same for Lily. She was still trying to forget. All this time she had spent trying to remember Marcus, and now she was begging to forget. With every flashback came waves upon waves of guilt. She was drowning in her own love, her miserable fucking love. She kept sinking. More pills; another bottle of liquor.

The days began to bleed together. There wasn't much light in the small room; it made it ever harder to decipher the time. She still hadn't eaten, and there was another bottle, still full, sitting on the nightstand. She hadn't planned on leaving this room, ever. If Marcus didn't want her, there was no place left for her to go. Someday, the nasty little man from the counter downstairs would come looking for his rent money and find her lifeless body lying on the floor; and she didn't care. She knew she had to leave this room if she wanted to break this cycle. She just couldn't find the strength, and again she was okay with the idea of being found on the dusty floor. Another shot. More pills. Sleep would come soon and she knew it, she almost welcomed the nightmares; after all that she had done to him; she deserved them. With her eyes still closed, and the room spinning around her, she placed the gold band on her left ring finger. _Just in case _she thought_, at least he'll know I still cared. _She slumped forward on the cool tile floor. _Please, please, just take me._

XXXXXX

When Delta returned that evening, Lily's foot locker was empty and she was nowhere to be seen. Marcus just shook his head when Dom started asking questions. He was so tired of all of this shit. He walked casually to his room; and shutting the door behind him, laid down to sleep.

For the next couple of days the guys just left him alone. No one talked much around the apartment. After about a week, Dom had decided he had had enough of Marcus's silent treatment, and set off to find Lily, and figure out what the hell had happened. His first stop was COG headquarters, sure, Lily wasn't really AWOL; but it was worth a shot. Best case scenario she was sleeping in the barracks, and at least she wouldn't be alone.

With no luck at the barracks Dom started asking around. He'd made a lot of good connections while searching for Maria, maybe one of them had seen her. Dom just hoped she was still in Jacinto, if she'd gone off on her own, there would be no way they'd ever find her out there. He was diligent, he was thorough. But, by the end of the day he still didn't have a lead. _There's only so many places she could be, Dammit. _

Dom headed back to the apartment. He was determined to kick Marcus's ass out of this fucking slump he was in. _This is ridiculous. So what, she fucked around a bit, Dammit Marcus she loves you, don't let her go. _"Hey, Cole, where in the hell is Marcus?" Dom peaked Cole's curiosity and he stood leading the way to the back bedroom. Marcus hadn't really left his room in almost a week. They would see him coming and going, but never a word was spoken.

Dom banged on the door, "Open the fucking door Marcus, now, or I'm kicking this shit in." The latch on the other side of the door slid back. Marcus stood, unimpressed with Dom's threat, in the doorway. "What do you want, Dom? Can't this shit wait?" he asked.

"Marcus, man what the fuck? Lily's been gone for days, where the hell is she, man?"

"How should I know?" Marcus shrugged. He really was worried about her, but he knew she'd be fine back at the barracks. She'd probably hook up some friends from Basic, and everything would be alright. He hadn't wanted her to leave, he'd even planned to talk to her again when they got back from taking Baird to the clinic. But she'd already left. She didn't even say goodbye. If she didn't want to be there with Marcus, he wasn't going to force her to be. As long as she was safe and happy, he didn't care anymore. He missed her desperately but there's nothing he could do about that now. She was a big girl, she could handle herself, she'd proven that time and time again. She didn't need him to look after her, she'd be fine.

"Look, Marcus, I get it okay I really do. You're all but hurt that she slept with Baird, okay, fine. But do you really think she's okay out there man? She's not at the barracks. For all I know she's not in Jacinto." Marcus's eyes grew wide, "What!" he yelled. He grabbed his pistol, strapped it to his hip, and walked toward the front door.

"Marcus?" Dom was hesitant, this might not have been the best time to bring this up. "What, Dom? What's it now?"

Dom started slowly, "Are you just going out there to find her, and make sure she's okay? Or are you going to bring her home? This is pretty petty shit, man, even for you. You'll regret it the rest of your life if you don't at least try. Trust me." Dom was right, Marcus could trust him. Dom had been looking for his wife for years. He knew deep down she was probably long gone, died at the hands of some stinkin' grub months ago. But he kept searching, and he never faltered in his love for her. Maria had taken off and left him alone, and until he found her, he'd never be fully redeemed.

"Yeah, Dom, Let's bring her home." The three remaining members of Delta squad left the apartment and headed out into the night.


	13. Lost and Found

ANB – Chp 13 - Lost and Found

"Okay, Dom what've ya got?" Marcus asked as they walked on to the street in front of the building. "Not much, one guy said he might've seen her at the bar down the street, but no one there's talking."

"We'll make 'em talk, baby!" Cole's voice booming, he really missed Lily, and he knew it wasn't really any of her fault. _It's a good thing Baird's still in the clinic,_ he thought, _or Marcus might've changed his mind._

The three of them walked quickly toward the dilapidated establishment. Marcus really hoped Lil hadn't been hanging around the bar. It wasn't the kind of place a cute, young girl like Lil should be, especially alone. He shuddered slightly at the thought, and pushed open the front door. The bar looked and smelled the same, as if it had been trapped in time. Things just didn't change here. Cole went left, Dom, right; searching for probable leads. Marcus walked straight ahead to speak to the slinky man behind the bar.

Places like this thrived on anonymity, and if you had enough money, these scumbags would keep all your dirty little secrets. Marcus knew this better than anyone. In the days before Lil, Marcus spent a lot of time in this putrid place drifting in and out of reality, one beer at a time. He came prepared. Sometimes, a few bills would get you farther than a few hits to the head.

The man behind the bar just shook his head, he said he hadn't seen her since the night she was here with them. Marcus wasn't buyin' it. He pulled a couple of folded bills out of his pocket, Dom and Cole had returned empty handed. Marcus slid the money across the bar, "Maybe this will help you remember?" The merchant eyed the money, and the three men standing before him. On the one hand these guys were probably friends of hers, and she looked like she could use a friend. On the other, they could be lookin' for a good time, and that girl just didn't look like she could handle the three of these boys for a night. He picked up the cash with his dirt encrusted fingers, smelled it and stuck it in his shirt pocket. "She's upstairs," is all he said.

Cole and Dom looked at each other knowingly. The three of them all thinking, what none of them would ever say. _Isn't upstairs where the hookers lived? _They all three hoped they were wrong, that's something you just don't come back from. Especially in a place like this. They headed toward the stairs. The narrow corridor was only wide enough for one at a time to fit through. So, they walked single file up the long flight of stairs.

When they came to the top, they took a quick visual inspection. It was late, and most of the rooms looked occupied. The first room they came to, was just at the top the stairs. The door was slightly ajar, and silence is all that could be heard from within. Marcus looked back at his squad, took a deep breath and opened the door.

The room was dark, only the light from the hallway lit their way. It was a small and dusty little cubicle with a few empty bottles of booze littering the floor. Lily's black duffel bag still sitting on the bed where she had left it some 7 days earlier. "Man, this is definitely Lily's room, that's her pistol in the corner, but where's she at?" As Dom finished his question, Marcus's eyes adjusted to the darkness, and he saw his once beautiful lover, slumped over in a fetal position. Her right hand still grasping the large bottle of liquor. On the floor in front of her was Baird's empty bottle of pain-killers.

His mind raced almost as fast as his heart. He entered the room, crouched down next to her, and checked for a pulse. _Come on, not now, please, not now. I just found you. Lil. Lil. Please No. _"Dom, get me something, anything, she almost gone. Hurry!" her pulse was faint, her skin was cold and clammy, he didn't have much time, and he knew it. He sat her up, unfolding her fingers from the poison, and lifted her. He placed his forehead to hers, "Lil, honey, if you're in there, I need you, baby. I need you." He carried her to the bathroom, "Cole, water, now." Cole squeezed between them and the entrance to the bathroom. _No sink. Great. _He ran a warm bath. He didn't know what else to do.

"Blankets, man. Now." Marcus kept barking orders at Cole, but Cole was grateful. He wouldn't have known what to do otherwise.

Dom returned with a small vial of purple liquid. "Marcus, this is all I could find."

Marcus turned to grab the vial, he smelled it, "Yeah, you did good man. All we gotta do now is get her to drink this shit."

Cole wrapped the old, worn out blanket from the bed around her. And tilted her head back, holding her nose. Marcus ripped the cork from the bottle with his teeth, and poured the slimy liquid down her throat. She involuntarily swallowed. "What now? What do we do now?"

Marcus replied quietly, fighting back his tears, "Now we wait. Cole, bring me a hot, wet towel?"

"Yeah, sure, Marcus."

He sat there, on the mildew ridden floor holding his life in his arms. He didn't think he would make it through this war without her, and he hoped and prayed they had gotten to her in time. He held her tightly, gently rocking back and forth. This was a side of Marcus, that Dom and Cole had never seen. He was losing his goddamn mind, this wasn't the man they knew. He checked her pulse every couple of minutes, just to make sure. He kept mumbling quietly, his secret fears and longings came out on that bathroom floor. Marcus started to cry. He never stopped telling her how much he loved her, he never stopped reassuring her that it was okay, that he was right here with her.

Dom and Cole had retreated to the main room of this tiny apartment. They sat there together, never saying a word. They both knew the chances were slim. It was going to be hard to get Marcus out of the room with out a fight. If Lily didn't make it through this, they were all probably going down.

A sudden coughing and choking sound came from the other room. Both Gears jumped to there feet and ran to the small door way. Marcus's eyes were bloodshot, as he held her unconscious head over the toilet. "Well I'll be damned, you did it, Marcus. You really did it." Dom almost laughed, as he nudged Cole in a small gesture of triumph.

Marcus held her head there for a little under an hour, making sure she didn't choke on her own vomit. She was still unconscious, but at least the alcohol was out of her system. He lifted her after about 10 minutes of silence, and undressed her slowly. He laid her in the warm, tepid bath water, and began bathing his once and former love. The washcloth making long winding strokes over her soft skin, he let just a few more tears slip. As he washed her hands, he noticed the small gold band on her finger. _She remembered,_ he thought, _she's in there somewhere, I've got to find her._

XXXXXX

It was dark. It was quiet. Death was easy. You just let go of reality, just let it slip away. Life was hard, too hard. The darkness continued to envelope her, life it seemed just continued to fade away. Black, all she could see was black, all she could think was black. Nothingness creeped toward her from everywhere. Peace is all she felt.

Then, somewhere far away she heard a voice. It was deep and rough, it was familiar. It kept trying to pull her back, back from her slumber. She tried to fight it, tried to win. She wanted this, she needed this. Please, just let me be at peace. She begged the voice, she begged it silently. Stop, stop saying my name. Please. She fought against it. Against him.

The voice continued, sometimes clearly, sometimes in a low rumble. She couldn't fight it any more. She didn't want the voice, but it continued to call to her. A familiar sound, The sound of metal hitting more metal. _What is that? It... it... it was her COG tags, what? No, it couldn't be, I took those off days ago_, she remembered. _It's not my tags... what is it? Marcus? Could he really be here? Did he find me? Please, Oh God, Please, Marcus, can you hear me?_

XXXXXX

Her lungs filled with air suddenly flooding her brain with swirls of thought. She breathed deeply. She smelled booze, she smelled soap, she smelled Marcus. Her eyes snapped open. She tilted her head, confusion is all she could muster. She opened her mouth, and closed it hesitantly. She looked for his eyes; not finding his beautiful blue orbs. But it was still her Marcus, she was sure of it, he was even wearing the shiny metal disks around his neck that beckoned her, like bells to his side. He wasn't looking at her, he had his head down in a silent prayer, one last ditch effort to regain his sanity; and Lily.

She lifted her hand from the water, she reached toward him with the innocence of a child. Not sure if she's alive or dead, she still longed for his touch. She had to know if he was really there. Her palm cradled his cheek softly, she could feel him.

His eyes opened, he looked up slowly, his eyes red as blood. He breathed deeply, a sigh of relief, "Lil? Lil? Are you okay?" he asked.

"Marcus," she whispered, "Marcus, is...is this heaven? Am I dead? I heard you calling me."

A smile crossed his face, "No, sweetheart, No, I'm here, I'm here, It's going to be okay. Come on, let's get you the hell out of here."

He lifted her from the now cold water, and wrapped her in the warm blanket from the old bed. He carried her to the hallway door. Dom and Cole stood amazed, there she was, back from the brink of death, again. "I guess Lily's just that lucky." Dom whispered quietly._ Of course she was,_ she thought, _I've got Marcus, my own personal fucking savior._


	14. Just One More

ANB – Chp 14 – Just One More

Marcus led the way down the darkened streets, holding his Lily firmly to his chest. His brothers in arms, always vigilant, close behind. He hadn't seen this coming. Lily was a smart girl, and to end up in that hole, she really must have been desperate. He couldn't seem to understand, how it had all crumbled down around him.

They reached the front door just as she started to fall asleep. It had taken a lot of effort to keep her conscious, and now the exhaustion began to set in. He shook her slightly, rousing her for mere seconds. He was afraid to let her sleep. Afraid she wouldn't wake again. He sat her on the couch and turned on the T.V. Chairman Prescott's ever encouraging words filled the screen and their ears. Dom turned all the lights on, and went to find her something to drink.

Finally, the sun rose, and Marcus decidedly exhausted, took her to bed. Laying there by her side, he closed his eyes. His nightmares and her cold sweats came and went. She thrashed around every now and then, screaming obscenities at her own ghosts. He just slept.

Just as dusk was falling over the city of Jacinto, she awoke. She was hungry. She climbed from under his heavy arm and quietly slipped out the bedroom door. Confident she hadn't woke him, she walked to the kitchen. Opening the fridge she saw lots of things. Not one of them appetizing in the least. She settled for a COG approved protein shake.

She sat at the table alone, and unfulfilled. She had hoped the hunger would dissipate once the thick liquid had made it's way to her stomach. Yet, hunger is all she continued to feel. She needed just a little more. She needed a release, however small. She hadn't found her peace in Baird's arms. She hadn't found it alone in the dingy apartment. She had almost found it in a small round pill. _Close enough_, she thought, and grabbing her small jacket, she headed to the bar.

Marcus was still asleep, and if she hurried she could be back before her even noticed her empty side of the bed. She felt sick, and she knew the only way to feel better was in Jimmy's pocket. Jimmy had always come through for her. His standards were low, and he thrived on the needy. She was sure he'd be in his usual spot in the darkest corner of the ruined bar. She knew he would make her feel better. Just a couple of minutes with Jimmy and she could have whatever it was she was looking for. _The best part about him,_ she thought, _Jimmy keeps his mouth shut._

She closed the door as quietly behind her as she could. She hadn't noticed any movement from the couch, where Cole had been sleeping. She'd almost feel bad if she woke him, but only because then she wouldn't be able to go see Jimmy. She practically ran down the stairs of the falling-apart building. She was on a mission. No one would be the wiser. They'd all just be so happy she was home. No one would ask questions anymore, especially if they didn't know she'd ever left.

She headed down the alleyway. The back entrance was always a better bet when it came to Jimmy. Half the time he'd be out there anyway taking care of some other business of his. The walk was quick, and the night was cool. She was glad for the darkness, nothing like being able to deny to yourself that you were ever there.

He saw here from the doorway. Jimmy just smiled, "Back for more, sweetheart? Just can't stay away huh?" Jimmy liked to pretend his customers actually liked him, that they came to see him; and not his drugs. Anyone who knew what was good for them just played along. Jimmy may have been a small, disgusting man, but he packed quite a punch, and Lily didn't need to be reminded again. As long as she needed Jimmy's services, she belonged to him.

He knew what she wanted before she had asked. She didn't really want to pay up, but she knew there really wasn't any other way. Jimmy liked a little play more than he liked the money. Any ugly fuck could give him money. Not everyone looked or felt like Lily. He even liked the way her smell lingered on him for days. The past week Lily had met Jimmy a few times. Once in the alley itself, and a couple more times in the small room upstairs. Sometimes he even showed up on his own bearing presents. Of course, there was always a price to pay in this world, even for gifts.

She took a deep breath and knelt on the rough and broken concrete below her. She never looked up. He began to unzip his pants. She kept her eyes closed. She knew it wouldn't take long, and afterward it would be easy to forget. A couple stiff drinks and a few nice pills, and it would all go away. She was getting good at forgetting.

Before she had even opened her mouth, she heard a quiet voice from behind her. "I suggest you put that away, little man, or I'll have to do it for you." Cole's tone was not that of the man Lily knew. "Let's go baby girl. You don't belong here anymore." he took her arm, and helped her up.

Jimmy didn't like to be threatened, he didn't like to be interrupted either. He pulled a small caliber pistol from his pocket and pointed it at the huge, dark Gear. Standing there in the back alley, Jimmy had the audacity to say, "We had a deal, man. She's mine, whether you like it or not."

Lily looked down at the worn concrete, and nudged the broken pieces with her shoe._ This isn't going to end well for him_, she thought.

Cole hadn't spoken a word since he'd helped her up, he just stared at the small man. Then, just as she had thought Cole took two steps forward. In one motion he not only managed to disarm the fool, he had laid him out flat on the hard ground. Jimmy's head continued to hemorrhage there in the dark back alley, as Cole and Lily walked toward the lighted streets.

XXXXXX

They walked together in silence through the empty streets of Jacinto. Cole's arm was wrapped around her. It kept her warm, it kept her safe, and for a moment it kept her whole. She hadn't found her peace in the alley, but Cole had found her, and that was worth something. She walked with her head just a little higher while she was by his side. Cole never judged her, he just showed her love and compassion.

They reached the top of the stairs, and she stopped a few feet from the door. "Cole, what are you going to tell Marcus?"

Cole thought for a second, "Well, baby girl, I won't be tellin' the man much of anything. I think that's your job." Lily nodded, and swallowing her fear, she opened the door.

Marcus was sitting on the couch, strapping his pistol to his left thigh when the two of them walked into the dimly lit room. The T.V. still on, and Prescott continued his repetitive propaganda. Marcus's head tilted to one side, and his eyes narrowed, as she entered slowly and sat on the couch next to him. Cole sat down in a too small recliner in the corner, and nodded at Lily.

Marcus's eyes drilled into her. He had only been awake for a few minutes. Just long enough to notice her absence and get dressed. He sat there patiently, one last time. He'd hear what she had to say, and then he'd make his decision. This was getting to be too much, even for him. She took a deep breath, _how many lies will Cole let me get away with,_ she thought, before she started her pseudo-confession.

"I," she began, "I just went out for a couple drinks." She paused just long enough for Cole to interject. "Lily?" was all he had to say. "This obviously isn't going to go as smooth as I thought", she whispered quietly to herself, too low for anyone in the room to hear.

She began again, a semblance of truth this time, "I...I just wanted a little bit. It hurts. You don't understand the pain. Really. I just wanted a couple. Please." she began to beg, "Please, Marcus, please don't be mad. God, I'm so sorry. Please."

Marcus just sat there. He looked to Cole for some sort of affirmation of truth. Cole shrugged and tilted his head, his lips just a little twisted. Apparently Marcus saw through the bullshit, he stood purposefully and walked quickly to her side. He saw the ring on her finger again, and noted that it still remained. He took her roughly by her left arm, and walked down the hallway to their bedroom. He slammed the door behind them.

Cole nodded his head, and went to his room. He had been awake for nearly 2 days now, and trouble or not, it was time for sleep. It was still early in the morning, the sun barely lighting the sky as Dom opened his eyes. He had slept most of the night, and headed to the living room. He sat down on the couch and began to clean his lancer. You could only kill so many grubs with the chainsaw before their entrails started mucking up the blades.

XXXXXX

"Marcus, I'm sorry. Really. Please don't be mad." she continued behind the closed door. Marcus sat her on the bed forcefully, and stood over her. He looked down and shook his head, "What the hell were you thinking? Did you really think I wouldn't notice?" She stood up from the bed. Her eyes still locked on his boots. If eyes were the windows to the soul, that's one place she didn't want him to be.

She stood up straight, and tilted her chin to his chest. Lily knew how to win this battle. Marcus just needed to feel like he fit in her life; somewhere. He needed to know he still belonged in her heart. There was only one way to show a man like Marcus that he really mattered. Rising to her tip toes she licked her lips and leaned in for the kill. Her lips met his, and for one second she had finally found that peace she had been looking for.

He grabbed her arms and pulled her back. She gathered all her strength and looked up to meet his eyes. Tears already welling in the corners, her eyes met with his furious glare. Tension filled the space between them. His frustration building. He pulled her toward him, his strength nearly crushing her ribs. She slammed against his chest, and their lips met again. Breathing had become obsolete. Who needed oxygen, when you could have passion.

He ripped the clothes from her body and threw her to the bed. The very thought of him mounting her was almost more than she could bear. He shoved his manhood deep inside her. She cried out at the very thought of his large member, tearing into her. He thrust into her like there was no tomorrow, he penetrated her like he never had before. His large rippling muscles tensed with every forward motion, if took all of his strength to not rip her in two.

He leaned forward, amidst her moans and squeals for more, and took her nipple between his teeth. He teased it until she begged for him to stop, and then he tried to swallow it whole. She writhed beneath him, every part of her flushed and red hot. She fought back the screams in her throat. The pain was unimaginable. The pleasure, beyond belief. This was not her Marcus.

She tried to fight, she tried not to thrust herself toward him, but to no avail. She was almost there, and as long as he kept going, she'd continue to beg for more. Finally his muscled tensed one last time, and his heat flooded inside of her. He bit her neck, and held her legs tightly around his waist. _If this is all she wants,_ he thought, _well, hell, I can live with that._


	15. The Mission at Hand

ANB – Chp 15 – The Mission at Hand

Marcus laid there by her side for a long time. She had curled herself into him, her face nuzzled deeply into his neck. She slept soundly. He couldn't sleep, his thoughts in a twist. He hadn't decided to forgive her, and he hadn't decided not to. He loved her, he loved everything about her. He was strong, and a fierce fighter. She was a weak vessel, lost in her own struggle. She was selfish. He knew all of these things, and he still struggled with the thought of her lying in his arms. She was a shell of the woman he once knew. He believed her when she had said she was sorry. Addiction made people do crazy things. Stupid things. All of this considered, he made a conscious decision to love the women before him, regardless of her trespasses, she was still his Lily.

He took her hand in his, and kissed the ring that still remained upon her finger. He remembered when he asked her to marry him. He had prepared a dinner, he'd even kicked the boys out for the night. They had been sharing his room and his bed for at least 6 months, and he knew he had to try. Lil was always his girl, but he had wanted to make it official. When he'd proposed to her, she just shook her head. He remembered the pain; the slight humiliation. She tried to explain to him her reasoning. That she just couldn't imagine them being happy together in this world full of violence and war. She was probably right, he figured.

The war raged on, no end in sight. Marcus kept fighting for his peace. He wanted Lily by his side forever, even if that was just for a few more days. She had kept the ring, she wore it sometimes, fiddled with it and cried. He knew she wanted to say, Yes, she just couldn't bring herself to break with her imagined fairy tale ending.

Even now, she wore the ring. He knew she had remembered it all, and somewhere inside it broke her. He knew the drugs were just a pitiful escape attempt. He tried not to take it personally. He wanted to protect her, but he didn't know how. How does one protect someone from themselves?

He laid there with her, knowing that their day of peace may never come, and he still felt content.

He was brought back to the present by a quick and quiet knock on the bedroom door. He gently slipped out from under her naked body, and after covering her with the bedsheets, he opened the door. Dom stood just on the other side, straight shouldered, and a little tense. "Marcus, man, Baird is here. Something goin' down. We've got to talk."

_It's always something_, Marcus thought, "Yeah, alright give me a minute."

He pulled on his dark-colored cargo pants, buckled his belt, and left the bedroom; closing the door behind him.

"So what's this about?" Marcus eyed Baird's not so beautiful face. Baird laid it on the line. He spoke quickly, and purposefully. "Hoffman stopped by the hospital today. They've got a new bomb. We'll still need the info from the eval point in Timgad, but they're saying this is it. We could end this war now, man." he paused and surveyed the faces of his fellow Gears, "And... I made Corporal, bitches! I'm leading Sigma in the Hollow, and you guys are headed to Timgad."

Marcus had never thought this war would end. Sera had never known peace, not as long as he could remember. He thought of Lily in the back room, and her promise to him. _If Sera ever finds peace Marcus, I will be here with this ring, waiting for you. _"Baird," he said to his brother, "what do we have to do?"

Baird laid the whole plan out. First Delta would leave, and head for the info in Timgad. The rest of the COG army would be infiltrating the Hollow, and waiting for their Intel to set the bomb. Delta would have a limited window to get the hell out of range, but if all went according to plan, the war would be over. "When do we leave?" Marcus wanted peace more than anything. He'd lay his life on the line for humanity's safety, as he always had, but this time, it would actually make a difference.

"Well, I guess we leave now. Briefing is in almost an hour, then you guys head out." Baird spoke with a new found pride until "Marcus?" he looked toward the ground. Marcus looked him over, "I'm sorry for being such a dipshit, man, really." Marcus just grinned, "yeah, man, whatever. It's all good Baird, let's just kill those bastards. We can deal with our shit later."

Marcus stood up, and in his most authoritative voice he could muster, bellowed, "Let's suit up, Delta." He headed to the closet and threw the bags of gear on the floor of the living room. He was determined to win this war. The soldiers got dressed, piece by piece, they formed their own army. An army of men who would not be deterred. These men had finally heard the words of hope, and now more determined then ever, they had to win.

With armor on, and lancer in hand, Marcus scribbled a note on a small scrap of paper. He hadn't planned it this way, but in the end this just seemed the right thing to do. He would leave her here at peace in her quiet slumber, and he would defend her in Timgad against the most unspeakable of evils. He crept quietly into their room, careful not to disturb her. He placed the torn paper next to her on the bed, and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "I love you," he whispered, and walked out of the room.

XXXXXX

Lily stretched across the bed, the sun seeping through the curtains, told her she had already slept too long. The bed beside her was empty, she felt too alone in the large bed. She rose to her feet and slowly made the bed. The apartment around her was silent. _Where is everybody? _A small white piece of paper fluttered to the floor as she straightened the sheets. She picked it up and sat down on the almost perfect bed.

_Lil,_

_We've been called out._

_Didn't have time to wake you._

_Don't do anything stupid._

_Marcus_

She chuckled as she read the last line. That's Marcus for you, straight to the point. She hadn't thought that Hoffman would let her stay behind, he's never been much of a softy. _Just as well_, she figured, and headed for the kitchen. Another COG protein shake.

She sat there, by herself, in the quiet and empty apartment. Something about this whole thing was a little off. She knew Hoffman wouldn't let Delta's only sniper stay behind. If he didn't let her rest after a chainsaw to the gut, why was he letting her stay here now? And Marcus... Marcus wouldn't leave her here alone and unsupervised, not after all the shit that had happened in the passed week. _Something's going on_, she thought, _this just isn't right._

The minutes ticked by, and she grew ever more anxious. She couldn't shake the feeling that Marcus was out there, and needed her help; Delta needed her help. She opened the closet, and saw her duffel, sitting alone amongst the dust. She pulled it down, and sat there staring at it. The adrenaline began to flow through her. _Why had he left me here?_ she wondered, and as if answering her silent thoughts; there came a knock at the door.

XXXXXX

Delta squad new it wasn't going to be easy. They knew there was always something standing in their way. But, as they walked toward the King Raven that morning, they had decided to give it their all, until the very end. They held their fear deep inside, and they went off alone to find the only thing left, standing between them, and extinction.

Baird had left just before his brothers to lead his own men deep into the bowels of hell; deep into the Hollow. He promised to stay in contact; as soon as control had the Intel they needed, he promised to blast all the Locust into oblivion.

When Delta landed in Timgad they had their work cut out for them. If this place had been rubble before, it was Hell on Sera now. Fires raged in the hollow buildings, pieces still crumbled. All they had to do was make it to the evaluation base and retrieve the data. Everything depended on them. If Control didn't get the data, the bombs would be useless. So, Delta forged forward, deaf and blind in this empty and torn city.

It didn't take long for them to be overwhelmed. They tried, they really did, but when the ammo starts to run low, there isn't much more you can do. They found an old building, one with a simple single entrance. Small windows littered the sides of the space, but it would have to do. Dom had taken a bad ricochet to his left shoulder. There was blood, nothing profuse, but it needed attention. Between the three of them, they probably had just enough bullets to finish themselves off. Which was starting to look better and better the closer the waves of Locust came. Marcus tapped his tac/com and spoke, clearly desperate, "This is Delta, can anyone hear me? We're pinned down, we need...," just static.

Baird, now deep underground, heard the distress call. He knew he couldn't reach them in time, he knew all their efforts would be in vain, if that data didn't make it to Control. He knew his brothers needed him. He knew there was only one person qualified for this job. They needed a savior. They needed air support.

Lacking in both, Baird did the next best thing. He contacted Control; he called the only person he knew, who could fix this FUBAR situation. "Anya, this is Sigma One. Anya, come in."

The serene and always calm voice on the other end was comforting, "Sigma One, this is Control. What's the situation Baird?" Baird took a deep breath, and relayed, as best he could, the situation in Timgad. "Anya, they need help. You need to find Lily. She'll need transport." Baird was nearly out of breath as he finished speaking. His heart pounding in his chest. The one time he wasn't there, is when they really needed him. He knew Marcus had left Lily in Jacinto for a reason, but it didn't matter where she was, if they lost this war. She'd die sooner or later, and Marcus knew it too. "Get her to Timgad, Anya. Baird out."


	16. Zen and the Art

ANB – Chp 16 – Zen and The Art

Lily was surprised to see Delta's control operator on the other side of the door. Anya looked scared. Lily had only met her a couple of times, but knew her well. Anya had guided Delta out of trouble more times than Lily could count. "Anya? What's wrong?" Lily's heart sank to the deepest pit of her stomach. Lily knew there was only one reason for Lieutenant Stroud to grace her presence; _Marcus is dead,_ she thought.

Anya spoke softly and calmly, she always had a reassuring tone, "Here, take this," she said, as she handed Lily what appeared to be a new Tac/Com, "They need your help Private, you're going to Timgad." Lily fiddled with the Com in her hand for just a second, before turning to her duffel. This was no time for thinking, she knew better. She dressed quickly, armor to armor, but this time, the helmet would stay on. Without her boys to watch her back, she'd need all the protection she could get.

The last King Raven in Jacinto stood alone on the landing pad. "Do I have a pilot?" Lily asked, praying she wouldn't have to fly this thing too. "Yeah, we've got an old vet, he's ready to take off, just as soon as you are." Anya handed Lily a large bag filled with ammo and a med kit. "You'll need these." she said, as Lily hopped aboard the Raven.

Lily tried to stay calm. It was a little under an hour's flight to Timgad, and if she let herself, she'd freak out long before she ever landed. She checked her guns, her ammo, and her helmet. She hated wearing the bulky thing, but it could withstand a .50 cal shot, and that's what really mattered. She thought about Marcus.

He had stayed by her side throught everything. She had let him down time and time again. She knew this was her redemption. Her last chance at saving them from the depths she had led them to. No matter what happened here in Timgad today, she would know she did everything she could for him. That she had tried. Her thoughts were only of Marcus and her brothers. _I'm coming baby._

Time slowed, her breathing deepened. She closed her eyes, and tried to find her Zen. They were getting close now, she could almost smell the bastards. She had to find her zone, she had to concentrate; she had to kill. She could hear the gunfire now. She stood, looking out the side of the raven. "Alright, buddy, you gotta get me close enough for the guns," she yelled to the pilot. "Are you afraid to die, vet?"

"No, sir," his only reply. _Then, let's do this!_

XXXXXX

"Marcus, man, it's been almost 2 hours! What the fuck are we gonna do?" Dom's frantic tone was not lost on his brothers. There came no reply. No one knew what to say. There weren't enough encouraging words in this world, when you were out of bullets to back them up. They had found cover in a small building near the center of the city. The evaluation base was visible from the small windows, and not a minute's run away. At least 30 Locust stood between them and salvation. Humanity's fate in their hands, and not a damn thing they could do about it.

Marcus's mind had long since left the battle, his thoughts no longer in Timgad. _What the hell have I done? I led my squad out here to die, and for what so Lily could stay in Jacinto and just die later with the rest of humanity? What the fuck is wrong with me? There's not a Gear left in that city, it'll be rubble in no time, if we don't get the hell out of here. Oh, Lil, what have I done?_  
"What the fuck is that?" Dom's voice finally breaking through to Marcus's ears. They listened carefully.

"That sounds like the Raven's turret, but..." Marcus's words were interrupted.  
"Woo, baby! We got us some air support!" Cole's voice rose above the sound of flying bullets.

"Is there even a Raven in the vicinity?"  
"Fuck if I know man."

"Do you hear sniper fire?"  
"What the hell is going on out there? I thought all the squads were in the Hollow?"

XXXXXX

The turret gun pulsed harder and harder with each shot she fired. She had to kill as many as possible before she hit the roof. She wouldn't have much time once she was on the ground. Maybe just enough for a few shots, before she'd have to get them their ammo. The bastards just kept coming, as if they knew it was their last chance as well. Outnumbered; she'd have to move fast.

She jumped from the Raven alone. Landing atop the same roof as before, she ran to the edge silently. She could see the horde closing in on a singular location, she knew her boys were in trouble, she knew they were in there alone, and desperate.

She centered her Longshot carefully, scoping the situation and analyzing every possible shot. She took a deep breath, and squinted her eyes ever so slightly, she squeezed the trigger. Reload. She squeezed again. With every shot that rang out, another grub fell. She threw her helmet to the side, and shoved the new Com into her ear. One tap, and she could hear the sweet, sweet sound of Delta's voices, "I don't know, but it'll take the whole COG army to wipe that Horde out"

She lobbed a frag grenade straight into the street, and smiled, _Just like bowling._ She knew another wave of those bugs would come soon, they didn't have much time. Just a minute or so, before the next E-hole, she had to get them their ammo, and fast. A few more deep breaths, and she tapped the Com one last time, "Well, I wouldn't consider myself an Army, but when you chicken shits are done running for cover, I've got your ammo, and about 10 minutes to get the fuck out of here."

"Woo! Baby girl, you don't know how good it is to hear your sweet, sweet voice," Cole's voice rang out with hope.

"Shit, Lil, what the hell were you thinking?" Marcus was quietly reveling in the fact that she wasn't alone somewhere awaiting her death, but worry still echoed in his tone.

"Marcus, baby, just come get the fucking ammo."

She threw the large duffel to the ground, and jumped from the roof; landing hard. She paused, still kneeling where she had landed; not a grub in sight. She sighed, and looking to the small building in front of her; she started walking casually, ammo in hand.

Delta Squad emerged, no worse for wear, from the ruined building in front of her. It looked as though Dom had been grazed slightly on his left arm. Lily threw him the med kit, as Marcus walked toward her. "I've got Control on the line, they need an ETA." she said calmly.  
Marcus took off toward the Evaluation base, his legs almost numb with adrenaline. He hadn't wanted Lil in this battle, but it had been made very clear to him, that she was apart of Delta, and they needed her. He ran quickly, and low to the ground; Dom close behind him. "Lil, you tell them, we'll be outta here just as soon as Jack has hacked the system."

Lily was still standing in the street, completely exposed, with Cole at her side. She worried about Marcus even now. The second he left her sight and entered the building her heart had begun to pound., "Marcus...please hurry." She'd just finished her sentence when she felt the ground below her rumble. Cole grabbed her arm and rolled out of the way just in time. The ground to gave way beneath them. "Now, this is what I call a fair game! Yeah, baby, let's kill 'em all!" Cole ran forward, as Lily ducked for cover, and grabbed a frag from the duffel. She threw it right in the pit there in the middle of the street. _Tick, Tick, Tick_, and the hole had closed. It rained rubble for just a few seconds, and she saw that only a couple drones remained top side. She ducked back down and still in cover, switched to her ever-reliable Lancer. Cole was already flanking, as Marcus and Dom reemerged from the Eval station. She never had to fire a shot. Marcus took one; Dom, the other.

"Control, this is Delta, we're headed to Evac point. Jack is transmitting. Tell our boys in the Hollow, that we're headed home." Lily had hardly finished her sentence when they had begun their ascent of the tall building. Three flights to go. Two... One...They stood on the roof waiting, as the Raven came into sight.

With the coordinated transmitted, and her boys safely on board, Lily climbed into the Raven. A set of firm arms wrapped around her. He wasn't letting go. Marcus leaned in to her and spoke softly, "Don't you ever do something that stupid again," he whispered into her ear, "thanks, Lil"

Delta Squad sat back, and prayed silently that this time wouldn't be in vain, that the bomb would make it's way true, and rest would finally be theirs. The sun was just setting in the Western sky when Lily heard a small click from the tac/com in her ear. Baird's tone was one of achievement, congratulations, and as always, pure asshole, "About damn time Delta, what took so fuckin' long, huh?"

Lily gave a small chuckle and removed the small device from her ear; throwing it out the side of the King Raven. They were headed home, that's all that mattered to her now. Marcus's arms never releasing their firm grip around her waist, they sat down, and she closed her eyes. "I love you, " she whispered.

He found her hand, and slowly removed her glove; her eyes remained closed. He gently held her hand in his, and slowly brought it to his lips. He kissed the gold band on her ring finger. He closed his eyes and whispered, "I love you too, Lil. Always."


End file.
